Friday, November 29, 2013

Shaming Tactics, Self-Righteousness and Violating Boundaries

"Shame is a soul eating emotion." - Carl Jung

I read a lot of articles about how women use "shaming tactics," apparently far more than men. I have noticed these shaming tactics myself. I've also noticed women don't even know they're doing it.

Those shaming tactics are based on self-righteousness, i.e., I am right and you are wrong. And they're always based on violating people's boundaries - even though they don't know they're doing that, either. And just about every time someone violates someone's boundaries, they are trying to shame and humiliate them.

Carl Jung (probably more than once) made the comment that women's greatest flaw as to think she was always right.

When someone tries to humiliate/shame someone, and is self-righteous (I am right and you are wrong) and violates people's boundaries (and doesn't know it or else if they know it, think they have the right) the modern word for that is "narcissistic."

A narcissist is someone who thinks they are always right, and in fact is grandiose. They violate people's boundaries and try to humiliate them. And the narcissistic blame their problems on other people - and women are notorious for trying to blame their problems on men.

So from all of this I have to conclude most women are more narcissistic than men.

Now one of the most interesting things about the narcissistic is that they are covering up a lot of problems having to do with self-esteem. Arrogance and self-righteousness on top, insecurity and shame on bottom (that is why those who talk about "the Dark Triad" being a good thing don't have the slightest idea of what they are talking about).

For some reason I don't quite understand I really set off these, insecure, narcissistic women. I've been like this since I was 12.

Women who are intelligent, sensitive, humorous and imaginative always like me. Women who are not-too-bright, who are self-righteous, and who violate people's boundaries act like they want me to die. And if I did, they'd probably be happy about it.

Shaming tactics don't work on me. Whenever women try it I immediately put a stop to it, or else act amused, which really sets them off, since I'm not taking them seriously. And when you don't take a narcissist seriously, that insecurity and sense of shame pops right up. That's the best explanation I have for why I set them off - because they treat them like the joke they are.

What I have actually found is that women who like me have good marriages, and those who dislike don't get married, have bad marriages, and often get divorced. It's like I'm some kind of barometer in that way.

The history of the world has been that men want to be protector/providers/fixers/creators. The more that women try to shame and humiliate them, insult and ridicule them and violate their boundaries, the less men are doing to do any of the things they do. And in the long-run, it'll hurt women more than men.

It's happening right now.

"Shame is self-sabotaging. It triggers feelings that we are unwell, unworthy, unlovable." - Joyce Marter

"We have no imagination for Evil, but Evil has us in its grip." - Jung

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have to fight the desire to provide protect and help. Do not extend myself much anymore. Have been screamed at shamed and my balls cut off one to many times. Go help yourself.