Saturday, October 4, 2014

Fathers, Mothers, and Love

"Maybe we just love the small pieces of ourselves that we find in others" -William C. Hanna

That's been my experience. We seek someone whom we have much in common, yet at the same time we seek someone to fill what we lack.

There is an old observation that men's attraction for women is based on their relationship with their mothers, and women's attraction for men is based on the relationship with their fathers. I've seen that, too.

If they have good relationships with the opposite parent, they generally have a good relationship with their significant others/spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends. If they don't have a good relationship with their parents, they often try to repeat the relationships to fix it.

Now what happens, as is so common today, the kids end up with a clueless/incompetent mother and weak/absent father? Voila! We have the Manosphere!

But it's often worse that. The quote from my last post? That the correct translation of "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you" is “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you”?

Notice that the woman is the first one at fault, just the way the woman is the first one at fault when the serpent (a symbol of envy) targets her pride and envy.

The means the first one to desire to dominate, to control, to want power, is the woman.

And who is the first one a baby boy encounters? His mother. And if she wants to dominate, control and manipulate him? And his father is absent or weak?

As an adult he'll have nothing but problems with women, and may end up hating and fearing them. I see these all the time in the Manosphere - the bizarre denigration of women, which is an envy-motivated attempt to take away the power their incompetent,clueless mothers had over them, and which still affects them.

I get lots of younger men trying to lecture me about the nonsense they read in the Manosphere - which they defend with the fervor of religious fanatics. And it's clear they have little experience with women.

Why the lack of experience? Those incompetent single mothers and weak fathers.

This scene is from Boogie Nights.

It's illustrates just about all you need to know about bad mothers and weak fathers.

When you have "images" inside of you of those kinds of parents, what does it do to you? And how hard is it to change them?

1 comment:

Robert What? said...

Today's fathers have to be twice as determined and twice as involved as in earlier generations, because the Strong Independent Woman ™ is going to subvert his authority with his children at every turn. Take it from me. I know.