Friday, October 31, 2014

Envy or Gratitude

One of my commenters, Ray, wrote this:

"Folks self-segregate into two groups: those who resent and envy the blessings given others, and those who appreciate the blessings given others. I can't be what you are and have your talents so, guess I'll just hate and hinder you. Problem solved."

That's pretty much the way it is. For years I have been a great reader of "fairy tales," myths and fables (such as Aesop's) and many of them deal with envy and its destructive effects, and gratitude and its beneficial effects.

In fact, these stories tell us you can feel envy, or you can feel gratitude, but you can't feel both.

Successful societies have learned to control envy. Uncontrolled, it always destroys.

The ancient Greeks noticed the benign form of envy is admiration, which leads to emulation, or imitating someone because you want to be as good as they are. That is what is meant by emulating someone so you can achieve excellence, which leads to flourishing/well-being. This still exists in America.

Unfortunately, these days, a lot of the country is based on envy. The whole Democratic Party is based on envy and the Republicans have been following suit for decades.

Leftism is based on envy, and has been since its modern founder, the Marquis de Sade. Of course, feminism is leftist and based on envy - "We must be equal!"

"Equality" is not what it's about. It's more, "Since we are intellectually and morally superior to you we will rule, and everyone else will be equal." Think Kurt Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron." Everyone was "equal" except the Hilary Clintonesque lesbian Diana Moon Glampers, who shotgunned anyone who wasn't equal.

I don't see much gratitude and appreciation from women toward men anymore. It's more than a bit mystifying, since men created about 99.999% of everything in the world, and if all of those inventions evaporated all women would be in a seriously bad way. Bad in the sense of fatal.

I suppose it's since when you envy someone you can't consciously admit it. Just the way you can't admit you want to destroy them. So what you get are many liberal/leftist women envying men, wanting to destroy them and calling it equality, and thinking they can run a society to which their contributions have been infinitesimal.

There has been much study of envy for many years. Psychoanalysts have studied it for decades. Melanie Klein wrote a famous book called Envy and Gratitude, and I will quote from Wikipedia about it:

"The Kleinian psychoanalytic school of thought of which Melanie Klein was a pioneer, considers envy to be crucial in understanding both love and gratitude.

"Klein defines envy as 'the angry feeling that another person possesses and enjoys something desirable – the envious impulse being to take it away or to spoil it' (projective identification). (Klein 1984, p176). Envy leads the child to phantasise about entering the primal good object (the good breast) and debase the good object specifically because it is good. The good object is internalised, becoming part of the child’s ego, so roles are reversed from the pre-natal state as the mother is now inside the infant. This phantasy is a manifestation of the death instinct, where bad feelings are directed towards both good and bad objects, leading to confusion between the two (Hinshelwood, 1989).

"Klein further defines envy as an innate 'expression of destructive impulses' meaning it is present from birth, and that it has a 'constitutional basis', implying it is resistant to change.

"Kleinian gratitude is diametrically opposed to envy, as envy expresses destructive drives and is usually aimed at the object that provides gratification. Therefore envy can be seen to lessen or destroy gratitude towards the good object. Gratitude is the particular affect towards an object that produces appreciation or satisfaction.

"Like envy, gratitude is inborn and crucial in developing the primal relationship between mother (the good object) and child. It is also the basis for the child perceiving goodness in others and herself. 'The sense of an object being available and freely given arouses care, consideration and gratitude for the object itself as part of the life instinct.' (Hinshelwood 1989)

"Gratitude felt towards the good object shapes the child’s capacity for love in subsequent love relationships throughout life. If the envy aimed at the nourishing breast is intense, full gratification is obstructed because envy destroys and desecrates that which is good."

I have thought for a long time envious people cannot love. If they say otherwise, that's just talk.

When it comes to the Manosphere, a lot of it is based on the resentment toward and envy of women, otherwise there would not be so much denigration of women as being loveless "hypergamous" whores interested only in "Alphas" and "cash and prizes." That shows no gratitude or love toward women (think about how many times the word "love" is used in the Manosphere) because there is no love or gratitude from women toward men. It's a feedback system.

And as for gratitude, I try to keep in mind what was said by Meister Eckhart, who was sort of a theologian/mystic: "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you,' it will be enough."


Anonymous said...

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Anders said...

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you,' it will be enough."
Most Christians, even those in name only are in the practice of saying Grace before each meal. Although, I suspect it is merely empty ritual. Feels that way when I do it, anyways.

Robert What? said...

I remember a time in this country when successful people were held up as people to emulate. No more. There is another reason for that as well. With the out-of-control cronyism in our country, people see a lot of people becoming wealthy on other people's time and energy. Cronyism used to be considered a shameful thing and even the people engaged in it tried to hide it. Now they engage in it with impunity with no sense of shame.

Marko said...

Soon, it will be illegal for a man to even talk to a girl in public. Affirmative Consent was just the beginning:

Black Poison Soul said...

Atlas Shrugged/The Fountainhead becomes daily more evident.

Mindstorm said...

"Death instinct"? The only possible instances of such instinct are the situations when animals lose the will to live (like an octopus mother which cannot avoid cannibalizing her children in any other way than relinquishing eating altogether). Not as seeking death for the sake of dying. In order to escape from pain, fear, etc. - yes. But otherwise? What's the point?

Is there any support for such idea of'death instinct' in sources outside the field of psychoanalysis?

Unknown said...

That is not what is meant by "the death instinct." Leftism is self-destructive and therefore an illustration of the death instinct. Envy is self-destructive and therefor also an illustration of the death instinct. The envious will destroy themselves as long as they destroy those they envy.