Saturday, March 26, 2016

Getting Interested in Girls and Feeling Gratitude

I started getting interested in girls when I was 12. I didn't expect those feelings at all. About the only thing my father told me was the facts of life when I was 11, which didn't make sense since I didn't yet have those feelings. "I'm supposed to put what where?" I remember thinking.

I didn't have anything physical to do with girls until I was 15 and I noticed some very odd things. They never showed any interest in me (what is now called "indictors of interest" but I found what I had to do is just jump on them - and they never said no.

Even then I thought, "There is something wrong here." Is this the way it is supposed to be? Just jump on them in the back of a car? What kind of a basis for a relationship is that?

I finally asked my father about this and wanted to know if that was the way things always were. He said that when he was my age they showed interest. They showed it, and then he asked them out. He said they acted grateful, appreciative.

He actually told me he had a Little Black Book with the names of a dozen girls in it, along with their phone numbers. Before he told me that I thought those books were just a myth. I've never knew anyone, even those mythical "alphas," who had such a book (and don't say something stupid such as storing numbers on cell phones today instead of a book).

I remember thinking, "Now that makes sense." Show interest, get asked out, show some gratitude. Damn, how simple!

It reminds me of something Meister Eckhart wrote (and which I have quoted several times): "If the only prayer you ever say is 'thank you,' it will be enough." I can't remember who once said, "The purpose of life is appreciation" (which I understand - to be able to appreciate everything - then you would feel really alive. And I do remember it was Joseph Campbell who wrote that what everyone wants is to feel alive.

It was a bit different in college, but not all that much. Some women did show interest in me, but that was just about it. Still didn't act grateful at all.

Now I'll change the subject, sort of, for a minute. I've owned several dogs, and all of acted grateful to me (I doubt it was really gratitude, though. It just seemed like it.) "Food, sleep with the owner! Petting! Going for a walk! Park! Play! He's been gone for five minutes and now he's back! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!"

Maybe that's why they're called "man's best friend."

I've mentioned before my last year-and-a-half in college I've lived in a studio apartment attached to a houseful of girls - 10 or 11 of them, I think.

It was an eye-opening experience. Two of the women were friendly and acted like they liked me. The rest, who ranged from attractive to sort of unattractive, always sat there like bumps on a log and expected guys to ask them out. Some guys actually did, and then blew the guys off if they asked for a second date.

I could never figure out why they even asked them out for a first date. The normal sequence of things had de-evolved into bump-on¬-log, somehow get asked out, show no gratitude, reject him, then get hostile and envious and resentful because the man who met their 300-point checklist never showed up, so they ended up with a cat because their ovaries had shriveled up.

I remember thinking, "How the hell are people supposed to find someone to marry?"

In other words, I just about predicted the collapse of marrige today. And this was in 1982, the year before I graduated. And it all came from living next to a house of girls for a year and a half. How often does a man experience something like that?

It wasn't until college I met girls who had what you might call "girl game." I remember one in particular who would show a great deal of interest in guys, then flirt with them and then they asked her out. She just mowed them down, including me.

I remember marveling at her, and again how simple it was.

Later on I began to think about envy and gratitude. The observation runs back to Aesop that you can feel envy or gratitude, but not both. Apparently these women who didn't show any gratitude instead showed envy. It's either one or the another, or perhaps, feel nothing at all.

And that has been my experience.

Two of the girls in the house did show some interest in me, which took me a few months to realize it because of the bump-on-a-log attitude. Because I wasn't interested in them they began to hate me. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," you know.

I also noticed, again starting in college, that some men were absolutely unpopular with women. Today you'd call them MGTOW but it wasn't something they did on purpose. Some of them used drugs and played video games or watched TV all the time. I knew one guy who said he sat on his bed on a Friday night and watched TV until he fell asleep. A living hell, I thought.

And it was because they were unpopular with women, to the point women would abuse them out of the blue. One told me a woman left in the middle of a date "leaving me sitting there with my bowling ball."

No wonder there's a word to describe this behavior these days. And it's gotten worse.

I began to notice hateful girls when I was 12. Now I run across hateful women all the time, and most of them are middle-aged, divorced, lost what few looks they ever had, pudgy - and trying to get revenge on just about every man they encounter.

I'll say it again - "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Even if the scorning exists only in their mind.

Feminism, as I've mentioned before, is leftist, and leftism is based on envy- "I'll destroy you even if I destroy myself!"

Since women no longer show any gratitude for men inventing everything in the world, and providing and protecting them, instead it's thrown in our faces. "It's not good enough! I want more!" And it never ends.

They act like these men aren't good enough for them, except perhaps Brad Pitt or George Clooney, which means they put a remarkably high value on their mediocre selves.

Both the Greeks and Hebrew knew of women's envious and rebellious nature (think of Eve and Pandora). That is problem. And society - meaning men - is letting them act like this, to everyone's detriment.

Of course none of this will last. It'll have to change, of course. Which means the laws have to be changed. I have no idea when, though. But change it will.

Until then, you'll see women with shopping carts full of Fancy Feast - dinner for their surrogate children Mittens and Boo Boo.


Shaun F said...

Bob - I found this in Glen's comment section and thought it was a perspective that I have't seen discussed and perhaps has been overlooked.

"First off I think you are comparing older women with the younger ones the other commenters are talking about and that is like comparing push lawn mowers to sports cars. They come from two very different eras and with very different views.

Secondly everyone is making the mistake that men ever controlled women. All men can do is manipulate female emotions if they know how and the environment is just right. What kept women in line for centuries is the never talked about matriarchy of the older and social women making sure the youngins towed the line. If the young ones didn't then there was hell to pay and could end with social banishment. Feminism had little to do with men and started with the total abandonment (A willing one) of the Matriarchy from it's traditional role. After that was eliminated it became nothing more than a White Male loot fest and men are justified in being happy with the way this case turned out at least legally if not financially."

Bob Wallace said...

Women have always been the same, with a preponderance of one kind over the world depending on the era.

And it was always known that older women kept younger women in line, just the way older men kept younger men in line.