Saturday, March 22, 2014

The "Mate-Guarding" of the Alpha Narcissist

I have pointed out before that those who speak with approval of the "Dark Triad" don't know what it is. And they certainly don't know it manifests itself in reality as compared to their fantasies of it. Or what "Alphas" are like in reality, either.

The accepted definition of an "Alpha" is almost the clinical definition of a narcissist. Narcissists are jealous, envious weaklings who are only interested in power, domination and control. They cannot love.

Every "Alpha" I've met has been weak and cowardly, which they've covered up with bluster and fake confidence and charm. If the "aloof" Alpha who evinces "amused mastery" and engages in bizarre gyrations to manipulate women really do exist, I've never met one in my life. Which means if these comic-book characters do exist, they are so rare it's likely you'll never encounter one.

Some think they are supposed to act like a narcissist because they think that's what "Alphas" do. My response: go ahead. It's no skin off my nose if you fuck up your life.

As for having confidence (and being "insanely confident" will get you into nothing but trouble, most especially if you have nothing to back it up), that is one of the Four Cardinal Virtues, and was noticed at least 2500 years ago by the Greeks. The other three are Justice, Self-Control and Prudence. They also noticed if you don't have one, you don't have any of them. That's why I said, if you want to pretend that acting like a narcissist is a good thing, go ahead. You'll suddenly find you have problems with justice, prudence and self-control.

Because as you think and act, you become. Try these quotes on for size: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”- Guatama Buddha. And: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" - Proverbs 23:7.

A lot of what you need to know about life can be gleaned from the Bible. You lead; she willingly submits and follows. The Bible also speaks ill of narcissism, which it calls Pride, just the way the Greeks spoke ill of it, calling it Hubris.

And Pride and "a haughty spirit" are followed by a fall and destruction, just as Hubris is followed by Nemesis.

I've been reading some articles recently that "Alphas" don't "mate-guard." It's supposed to be a "Beta" thing.

These sites, as they often do, are giving bad advice. It's "Alphas" who "mate-guard" because of their pathological envy and jealousy. In point of fact, it is these narcissistic weaklings who beat women, and at the worst, commit murder/suicide because they cannot tolerate losing their women. It's like losing their selves, and they'd rather die than endure that horror.

Sam Vaknin is a narcissist, and served time in prison. He, however, is a very self-aware one. His site here has a lot more useful information than the silliness of those who speak of "Alphas" and the "Dark Triad" and don't have a clue of which they speak.

"The DSM-IV-TR defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as 'an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts', such as family life and work."


Anonymous said...

Two guys the same age same STEM degree from the same university both living in the same city.
One is happily married , has kids and works 12 to 14 hours a day running a start up business.

The other is single, works for a major corporation and has had sex with more than 70 women.

Which is a “Alpha”?

Unknown said...

If you want to use the accepted definition, the second one. And I noticed you used the word "happy" for the first one and not the second.

Anders said...

As far as evolution goes, the first guy is more alpha because he successfully reproduced his genetic line and is actively working to perpetuate it whereas the second guy may be successful in fornicating with women, but still remains a genetic loser. The future belongs to those who show up for it.

Unknown said...

A man, traditionally, Protects, Produces and Reproduces.

Anonymous said...

As a biologist, I completely agree with Anders.

A man only wins the race when
a. he mates with the best available woman
b. produces healthy children

The more the number of mentally and physically healthy children he produces, the highest his fitness.