Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Do The Opposite of This

When I first read this I thought it was satire. I thought she was being ironic and really wanted women to follow the opposite of what she had written.

However...this loon is serious. She really meant what she wrote. All I can say: oh my God.

I have for many years thought liberalism/leftism is a mental illness. And since feminism is leftist, it's mental illness. This article is just more confirmation.

I wonder what this woman would do if she got divorced or her husband cheated on her. Perhaps she still believes in such old-fashioned virtues as monogamy, marriage and loyalty...

It was written by Tracy Clark-Flory and is from this site.

"Young single straight women, take cover! Susan Patton is out there flacking for her book, Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE. She stopped by the “Today” show this morning to tell college-age women to find a husband immediately — and also to learn how to bake bread, get plastic surgery in high school and, you know, not get themselves raped, as women are so often wont to do.

"It’s such patently absurd advice and yet this is exactly the sort of cultural messaging that used to freak me out as a 20-something single straight lady. In acts of self-punishment, I would read these self-appointed gurus, or watch them on the 'Today' show spouting their B.S., and genuinely worry that they were right — that I would end up sad and alone.

"Well, guess what.

"I did everything the Susan Pattons of the world said not to do and I ended up marrying a freaking wonderful man — not despite disobeying these retro rules, but because of it. That’s why, amidst all the 'Princeton mom' noise, I bring you instructions on how to actually marry smart, according to me. True story, I recently went to the optometrist and she told me, 'Your eyes aren’t young anymore,' so I feel like that makes me at least as qualified as Patton to give life advice.

"Work your butt off. First in college, then in the work world. Become the man you want to marry — or rather, the woman the man you want to marry will want to marry.

"The microwave is all the lover you need for now. Swing by Walgreens after a long day at the office and pick up a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna. Grab a $9 bottle of white wine while you’re at it. You’ll probably cry into your partially warmed food while watching Snow Buddies — those talking pups, so cute! — but one day you will look back at these scenes of early bachelorettehood and smile. This is how you learn to be alone, which you need to do before learning to be together. Sorry, them’s the rules.

"You know that drug dealer who keeps money in his freezer and doesn’t know where to put apostrophes? Date him. Same with the guy who literally has 'I’m a mistake' tattooed on his arm. They are terrifically wrong for you, but they are truly lovely people who will enrich your life. (If they are not truly lovely people, get the hell out of there. Only poor choices with hearts of gold are worth your mistakes.) It’s only from dating these self-styled bad boys that you will realize the folly of making yourself interesting through men. You get to be the protagonist of your own god-damn novel.

"Fake so many orgasms. Look, sex in your twenties is going to be horrible. For a long time you won’t even realize that sex can be more. You will take pleasure in giving pleasure. It is all the intimacy that you can take, for now. Despite the faking, these are some of the realest, rawest moments of your young life; two unformed people pressing their naked egos against each other.

"It’s not like you’ll have learned all the sex things by the time you get married, either. That’s when the learning can really begin. It won’t be long before you feel like you need an entirely new word for sex.

"Start joking about your shriveling ovaries once you turn 26. Collect plants and pretend that they are your offspring. Impulsively adopt a dog — and then immediately return it after realizing that you will be evicted from your rent-controlled apartment. Cry so much about what a horrible person you are and how this is the worst thing you’ve ever done. Self-flagellate about how you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a dog — let alone a child. Compulsively read trend pieces about 'kiddults.'

If you want to read the rest, click here.


rkshanny said...

"Fake orgasms"?! Don't fake 'em on my account honey. I could not care less! I hope you enjoy our encounter though. From what I can tell, you do. But if you can't have or don't want an orgasm, again, don't fake 'em on my account. I'm not into phony. Besides, I understand female orgasms have a lot more to do with what YOU do to YOURSELF than what I do for you. Is there anyone anywhere that can truly tell whether or not your verbalizations, demeanor, etc. mean orgasm, or not?!

Anonymous said...

Wow. She has to be kidding in some way that only young women understand. It can't be serious. No, no, no...

That said, there are people out there who will give bad advice on purpose, maliciously. I once had someone advise me to take plenty of taxi cabs in Mexico City because the drivers are into beautiful poetry. This is like advising a child to play in the street, as I later found out from a local who had been kidnapped twice.

Glen Filthie said...

I don't have the time of day for Salon - it has best been described as a 'femc*nt enclave'.

They used to have a forum over there with a character named 'Colonel Bull Kurz' that was supposed to be a mockery of the military general and their leadership in particular. He couldn't go 3 words without using the F word. He freely accused other posters of being faggots, butt blasters, Cleveland steamers,retards and other non-PC terms. He was supposed to be an agitator that provoked rage and ire and controversy - but the idea backfired when everyone found out they loved him. He had his own fan club that twisted the panties of the editors and they had to do away with the forum.

Just as holy water scalds vampires, humour will sear the soul of the feminist twit to a cinder. If a gal doesn't do humour...don't do her!

salsa shark said...

Glen Filthie

You gotta love the Archie Bunker effect