Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Alpha Wimp vs. the Patriarch/Protector

“The most dangerous man is the one who thinks he is a wimp.” - James Gilligan

The reason the most dangerous men think they are wimps is because they are easily humiliated due to their almost complete lack of self-respect, so when insulted they attempt to replace their feelings of humiliation with pride...through revenge.

Here is the accepted definition of an "Alpha":

"The alpha is the tall, good-looking guy who is the center of both male and female attention. The classic star of the football team who is dating the prettiest cheerleader. The successful business executive with the beautiful, stylish, blonde, size zero wife. All the women are attracted to him, while all the men want to be him, or at least be his friend. At a social gathering like a party, he's usually the loud, charismatic guy telling self-flattering stories to a group of attractive women who are listening with interest. However, alphas are only interested in women to the extent that they exist for the alpha's gratification, physical and psychological, they are actually more concerned with their overall group status."

Here is a definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: "Persons diagnosed with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder are characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy for others. These qualities are usually defenses against a deep feeling of inferiority and of being unloved."

I'll expand on characteristics of the narcissist a bit:

An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges.
Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships.
A lack of psychological awareness.
Difficulty with empathy.
Problems distinguishing the self from others.
Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults.
Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt.
Haughty body language
Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them.
Detesting those who do not admire them.
Using other people without considering the cost of doing so.
Pretending to be more important than they really are.
Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements.
Claiming to be an "expert" at many things.
Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people.
Denial of remorse and gratitude.

Let's list the characteristics in another way:

Shame: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.

Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.

Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.

Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.

Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.

Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.

I've met several narcissists and always found the "Bad Boundaries" to be the most confusing, until I realized they think you are responsible for their feelings. They can't tell where their feelings end and yours begin.

Whoever created the definition of Alpha was a narcissist. The definition is not what he is; it's what he wanted to be in his imagination. Underneath he had to be a cowering, pathetic wimp, covering it up with his omnipotent masturbatory fantasies. They are Paper Tigers.

In my life, traveling all over this country and living in many places, I have never met one man who fit the fantasy definition of an Alpha. Neither have any of my friends. Neither have any of the women I know.

The "Dark Triad" types I have met have been serial killers, murderers, rapists, thieves, woman-beaters, convicts. And always of average to below-average intelligence. And as for women who are attracted to these types, I know a Hybristophiliac. She despises herself.

All narcissists have a fragile grandiose self that they use to cover their unbearable feelings of humiliation and self-abasement. That's why in reality all of them are Alpha Wimps.

Since narcissists have to maintain the fiction of their perfection they have to project their flaws elsewhere. Where? That's where the hierarchy of Beta to Omega came from. It's so the Alpha Wimps can project their own substantial, indeed overwhelming flaws onto others.

It's why I've pointed out, contrary to protestations, anyone who thinks he's an Alpha is always going to claim even Betas are inferior.

I'll write it one more time: all Alphas are Wimps.

Since they are Wimps, they know, on some level, some people see through them. Those are the ones they truly hate, because they do not give them their Narcissistic Supply.

That's where the Sigma comes in: "The outsider who doesn't play the social game and manage to win at it anyhow. The sigma is hated by alphas because sigmas are the only men who don't accept or at least acknowledge, however grudgingly, their social dominance. (NB: Alphas absolutely hate to be laughed at and a sigma can often enrage an alpha by doing nothing more than smiling at him.) Everyone else is vaguely confused by them. In a social situation, the sigma is the man who stops in briefly to say hello to a few friends accompanied by a Tier 1 girl that no one has ever seen before. Sigmas like women, but tend to be contemptuous of them. They are usually considered to be strange. Gammas often like to think they are sigmas, failing to understand that sigmas are not social rejects, they are at the top of the social hierarchy despite their refusal to play by its rules."

Whoever created these definitions, and those who fall for them, have no self-awareness of what they really are.

Those who believe in these classifications, since they believe they have discovered the Truth, will desperately attempt to force everything to fit their limited definitions. This is why I've been told serial killers, mass murderers and rapists are "Alphas."

As is my wont, I often use the Four Cardinal Virtues: Courage (Fortitude of Perseverance), Justice, Self-Control, Prudence.

Alphas lack all of them.

I've known more than one "Alpha." All of them have ultimately been cowards, lacking in self-control, prudence, and justice. They're all ruined their lives in varying degrees. One, a doctor, told me if he could it over again, he would have been a high school coach.

He told me he's not quite sure how many women he's had sex with. He knows it's about 100. But every one of them was just a thing to him. Narcissistic Supply. Interchangeable and meaningless. Even his best friend told me he considered him a coward.

What's the opposite of the Alpha Wimp? A man who is a Patriarch/Protector.

And that is for later.

"We will be either Godly patriarchs, or we will sacrifice our children to foreign gods of pleasure and wealth. There is no other choice." - Cane Caldo


Anonymous said...


JackTheManiac said...

I didn't get your opinion about the sigmas. You do understand that's it's just another construct by some guys who wanted to stand over the alphas?

Patriarchs aren't sigmas. Vox Day says he's a sigma. Going by what you said, I believe if one says he is X, he is not X (regarding social standing terms of the manosphere) because real X don't need to say they're X.

Am I correct?

Unknown said...

"Vox Day" is short and balding, which is why he shaves his head (nothing wrong with shaved heads). He lifts weights, practices martial arts, and posts pictures of himself with flaming swords. He also posts pictures of his wife.

What does that say about his opinion on anything about the social-sexual hierarchy?

Sigma? Never met one. The closest I'm met is me, and half of women hate me and half love me. I can't stop the ones who hate me from hating me, and they cause all kinds of trouble. You want to be like me? I don't want to be like me, not in that way.

And yes, I do believe the Sigma is just another construct, to essentially put himself above everyone else.

JackTheManiac said...

So I googled Vox Day's wife because I got curious. Also, the flaming sword picture. Priceless. Says alot.

Looks like his wife may not exist.

And that's pretty recent, too.

Unknown said...

I'll be damned. It never occurred to me there were no pictures of both of them together.

I've read Vox Day's blog for a few years, and the more I read it the more alarm bells started going off. Especially with that Alpha/Sigma stuff.

That flaming sword is about the biggest red flag there is.

Glen Filthie said...

That is the awful thing of the manosphere Bob. These players poseurs and poltroons put on airs of authority and expertise but when you turn the spot light on them...there's nothing there!

Although I have never heard of the Sigma before I find that I have some of those traits too - and I value them in my friends and associates. They say what they think, they are honest with you when you need them to be - and they are toxic to people with ego. My experience with men and women is much like yours - roughly half can't stand me and the other half think I'm alright.

Unlike you though...I honestly don't care if they take a dislike to me anymore. I try to be nice and if that doesn't do it for them...fuck 'em. Life is too short to worry about what stupid people think.

Unknown said...

I'm married with kids. I stay married, I think, because of the kids. Oddly my wife was very nice to me when the kids went away to camp and that reminded me of why I married her. So ... who knows the future.

If patriarch/protector is considered a good and manly role, what else is a father and husband but that? I have to put up with all kinds of stupid shit, and largely just take it, because it's the way I can play that role. If I don't take it to her emotional liking, she turns her fury on the kids, but I am there to protect them from that too.

Having kids multiplies the "degree of difficulty" by 100, and so many families don't last, it's a terrible shame.

I get the idea that conventional family life is looked down on within the manosphere, but I've used what I have learned here to understand women better and (perhaps) keep the family together. This stuff works because it is battle-tested information. Purely "beta" behavior is not the way to keep the wife (and mother of the children) around. Yet the whole thing may appear pretty "beta" to a single outsider.