Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Why Women Who Own Cats are EVIL!!!

The animal a person owns is an expression of their personality. For example, almost every pit-bill owner I’ve known as had an attitude problem and a low IQ – just like the dogs.

I, on the other hand, am a pug person. Pugs are playful, funny, and an exceptionally affectionate breed. The only way in which they do not mirror their owners is that they’re aren’t the smartest dogs. In fact, “pug” and “intelligent” is an oxymoron.

It’s pretty much become a cliche that a single or divorced middle-aged woman without children, and with more than one cat, is a red flag -- the woman is someone for a man to stay away from. Why?

Because the cat is an expression of her personality – EVIL!!!!

Cats are cruel, narcissistic, selfish, inconsiderate little monsters who torture and eat helpless little things. Guess what? So are the female owners of these heinous beasts!

Even one cat is a red flag. Two and you’d better run away as fast as you can. You’ll save your soul from being eaten.

A cat is a walking personality disorder – “it’s not my fault; it’s yours!” Cats only pretend to be affectionate. In reality, they just want to use you. They believe you exist to serve them, just like people with character disorders.

No one has ever claimed dogs are the servants of the Devil. But cats? Yes. Black cats? Evil! Witch’s familiars? Cats! The symbol of Halloween? Cats!

I really believe the reason that cats are witch's familiars because a thousand years ago people noticed that crotchety, hateful old spinsters always had cats. Just like today!

Do dogs climb trees and eat baby birds? No. Do cats? Yes!

Women with cats, without exception, are cruel, evil monsters who want nothing better than to slowly torture you to death! And heartily enjoy it while they’re doing it!

You have been warned


just visiting said...

Well,....what if you have a pug and 2 cats? Does it mellow the evilness factor somewhat,lol?

Unknown said...

I have a pug and my girlfriend has a cat. They are consistently feuding over the food.

Yes, I'd say a dog, especially the goofy little ones like pugs and French bulldogs, are mitigating factors.