I have never met an "alpha" because they don't exist - at least the commonly-accepted definition: "The alpha is the tall, good-looking guy who is the center of both male and female attention. The classic star of the football team who at a social gathering like a party, he's usually the loud, charismatic guy telling self-flattering stories to a group of attractive women who are listening with interest. However, alphas are only interested in women to the extent that they exist for the alpha's gratification, physical and psychological, they are actually more concerned with their overall group status."
That's a psychopath/narcissist and they should be referred to as such. They're incapable of love. As for someone fitting the entire definition - they don't exist.
The PUAs I've met have been cowards and douches, every one of them. In fact every one of them has been the bottom-of-the-barrel, even if they made a lot of money (which flowed through their fingers like water). They see women as narcissistic supply for their character disorders.
Everyone I've met who has the "Dark Triad" has been a criminal/alcoholic/drug addict who is now dead from drugs, murdered or in prison. None has been popular with women.
I got to know a lot of whores when I owned a taxi and some of the guys who were their customers were bottom-of-the-barrel sex perverts. A lot of drug addicts are, too. I had one living my back room years ago (because he had no place to stay) before he killed himself because of his 30-year drug addiction. He also held a semi-automatic pistol against his slut/whore/drug addict "girlfriend"'s head when I was in the front room and had no memory of doing so. He was also a kink who, it turned out, wore women's silk underwear. Among other things.
As for his "girlfriend," I once woke up in the middle of the night to find her giving me a blowjob - with her "boyfriend" sleeping in my back room. And the cops stopped me on the street wanting to know why this whore was living in my apartment - which was when I found out she was a whore.
After his skeleton was found in the woods (after six months) a cop showed up at my door (with the attitude we were gay lovers and I had killed him) wanting in to search the place. No dice on that. The second was a detective who informed me he was wearing women's underwear (which I found under his bed, along with hypodermic needles). No dice on his searching the place, either.
By the way, long before the internet I heard Ted Nugent babbling on TV about being an "alpha." I know something about this douche. He's been long known for liking teenage girls and I have one friend who knows him, since he and some friends were going to go into business with him. They decided not to, since Nugent is what the British call "unclubbable." He's not an "alpha"...he's close to being an "omega." Who just happens to have a lot of money.
I don't agree with everything in this article, of course, but it makes more sense than the cartoon concepts in a lot of the Manosphere..
This article is from the from No Ma'am blog and makes a lot more sense than mental cases like Roissy, buffoons like Roosh and the naive like Vox Day.
(This article was originally written in reference to an article which featured an interview with well-known PUA, Neil Strauss, who boldly stated his support for feminism - it caused a tizzy in the manosphere at the time, since many felt it is not possible to be pro-game and pro-feminist.)
The art of seduction, commonly known as "game," has become a big focus in the manosphere over the past few years. I would like to make clear that I believe many of the elements of game are real and I agree that men should know about the attraction triggers of women. Game is essential to understanding the problems that we face as men in society. Without this knowledge, men will continue to be run around in circles, never getting anywhere – as has been evidenced over the past forty years. However, I learned about game in a bit different of a way than most. First, I learned via observation and through two friends of mine who both had extremely high partner counts - one I estimate has slept with 200 people and the other I suspect is in the 400 range. (Both are 40'ish now and the numbers add up over the decades). Things like social proofing and increasing one's sexual market value by "climbing" from one chick to the next I had figured out on my own by the late 1990's. But it wasn't until I read the Book of Bonecrcker at somewhere around 2005 or 2006 that I really seen it laid out in print in a way that corresponded with my own life experiences and observations.
The Bonecrcker is different from much of the game-o-sphere in one key way: His definitions of Alpha, Beta & Omega are entirely different from the conventional definitions we are using today. I still believe that he is closer to the underlying "Truth" with his ordering of these definitions because he goes beyond merely "scoring" and a high partner count in his definitions, for he includes social status and the ability to co-operate with other men - in order to create power - as part of his definition of "alpha."
Here are the definitions I learned it under, which will make sense further along in my argument.
Alpha: The “top” male – both sexually and socially.
Beta: Most males in the population. The average guy.
Omega: The scum/deviant/criminal class
Zeta: Weak-willed males
Alpha males don’t usually get the most partners. Alpha males get the best chick around and she beats off all the other women with a stick. Alpha males are respected in society – they are not only sexually attractive, but they also have great social power and have the respect and admiration of other men. Think back to when you were in high-school. The star quarterback, while he could have shagged a lot of 6’s, 7’s and 8’s, that is not generally what he does. What happens is he gets the prom queen – the best/hottest chick – and they usually stay together for quite a while. He does not trade his “10” in for quickies with a series of “7’s”. The top male pairs off with the top female and they tend to stay together.
Keep in mind that female hypergamy comes into play with the Alpha. If the prom queen is dating a "10", then who would she "trade up" for? Most men are not 10's and there is pretty much only one Alpha in any closed group (it's zero sum). Most males are 5's (average), leaving the range from 6 to 10 for female hypergamy to wish to trade up for when she's dating an "average guy." At the top end of the scale, however, there become very, very few prospects for her to view as better than her current 10, and so the top pair tends to stay together.
“Beta” males are almost all other males. They are not weak wimps, as they are so often derided as. They are merely the males that come in second place (or further). Not everyone can win the footrace and place 1st. The sexual marketplace is a zero sum game. There cannot be 12 alphas of equal sexual-social rank. It just doesn’t work that way with hypergamy. She prefers only the best, and that does not refer to the “top dozen,” but only number one is “The Best.” Beta males generally have more sexual partners than Alpha males as they screw around lots when they are younger and sort out their socio-sexual rankings before finding the right socio-sexually ranked female to pair off with. Being 2nd place does not mean you are a slow runner – it merely means you are second place, which is still higher than third, which is still better than fourth. You cannot have 12 firsts – except in modern feminist-inspired schoolyard sports.
“Omega” males are the scum class as well as the sexually deviant class. These are the bad-boys and these are also the guys who have multiple sex partners. A key characteristic of Omega males is that they cannot form stable relationships. They are not powerful like Alpha males. They might get lots of girls, but essentially they are powerless in society and have little real respect from those around them - especially other males. Girls may screw them, but girls don’t stay with them. Not having the respect of other males makes them socially powerless, and this is the key to why they are not Alpha males.
“Zeta” males are weak-willed males. They rarely get sex and when they do, they are ruthlessly manipulated and exploited by women.
When the game community talks “Alpha” they are really describing “Omega” and when they say “Beta” they are really describing “Zeta.” The proper references to Real Alphas and Real Betas are missing.
Now, one has to keep in mind that since the rise of feminism in our culture, most males have been relentlessly propagandized to believe that Zeta characteristics are the proper ones. After 40 some years of this, as well as a healthy heaping of totalitarian styled laws removing all sorts of powers from the average male, indeed, if most males are “Beta” males (ie. average people), then it is true that this indoctrination has indeed encouraged and tricked the average man into taking on many characteristics of the weak-willed Zeta. In this sense it is understandable to confuse the modern Beta with the traditional Zeta.
However, it is entirely false to confuse the Alpha with Omega traits. One must keep in mind that human beings naturally exhibit pair-bonding and Alphas still pair bond while Omegas do not. Most high partner count people I know, such as my two friends I mentioned above, are Omegas, not Alphas. They are sexual deviants with numerous sexual partners but their social ranking is low and that is why they need to continually game more than one woman at a time. They can only fool a woman into believing they are Alpha for a short amount of time and they have little ability to actually keep a woman of high mating value. Another reason they continually need to have more than one chick on the go is to protect their own emotional vulnerability. Of course, this behaviour also provides the Omega male with social proofing, which helps them get more chicks, but this is a different kind of social proofing than that which the Alpha male gets.
The “true” Alpha – the high-school football star who’s screwing the prom queen - doesn’t need to be sexually promiscuous in order to be social proofed. He is social proofed already by dating the best chick. All the other girls “know” who the best chick is, and they hate her with an envy that would turn Kermit the Frog three shades greener than he already is. Also, every girl would like to replace the prom queen herself, because they all know that the prom queen’s boyfriend is the highest value male and whoever can displace the prom queen will become the new female atop of their female ranking. In other words, the “real Alpha” doesn’t need to screw dozens of chicks to have social proofing. He’s already got it by banging the hottest chick, which every other girl wishes she could be. Should he and the prom queen split, there will be a plethora of women from the lowest sexual rank to the highest trying to achieve status by being the prom queen’s replacement. He will be snapped up again very, very fast by another very high value female, and he will again ignore all the women below that level.
Another factor that has enabled Omega behavior to be successful is urban anonymity. It is easy to be a “sexual sniper” in the big city where the Omega can easily disappear into the background before the valuable Beta class finds him out and ruins his life. You cannot rise in socio-sexual ranking when you are constantly cuckolding all those around you, whose co-operation you would need in order to gain social power in society. Keep in mind that urban growth is a relatively recent phenomenon in human history. For most of history humans lived in relatively small, rural communities and they needed the co-operation and respect of those around them, especially other males, in order to survive.
An apt example of these forces and their results is found within economics. In Keynesian Economics, we see all kinds of market distortions. Low/negative real interest rates discourage savings in favor of spending – and anyone with half a brain knows that you can’t spend yourself to prosperity. However, when faced with falsely imposed negative interest rates, spending money suddenly does make more sense than saving money which will have less value in the future. In Keynesian Economics, low interest rates also lead to excessive speculation, when anyone with a quarter of a brain knows that sound investing is more profitable in the long run than risky speculation.
In the same way, what we really have going on in society is almost a “Keynesian Sexual Marketplace.” In other words, a false economy based on Government Totalitarianism, enabled by Urban Anonymity, and fortified by relentless propaganda encouraging the “average Beta” to assume the traits of the weak-willed Zeta – with some further false sexually economic factors in the form of the pill and abortion – all combining to skew the “free sexual market.” The whole thing is as false as fiat money is to gold, and should these factors be removed, humans would likely revert back to a more traditional sexual marketplace – the kind often ballyhooed about in foreign cultures where things are not as far along in their screwed-upness as ours.
If it were not for things like government totalitarianism, women who mate with the scum class would find survival very difficult for themselves and their spawn. Many would likely die – and rightfully too, according to nature - for choosing an anti-survival strategy of mating with powerless Omegas who are unable to properly pair-bond. “True Alpha” males – those with high social and sexual value – would survive the best, as they have the best ability to provide, and all the lower ranking males and females (the Beta class), would again quickly pair off simply for survival’s sake. No animal, with the exception of perhaps lemmings, chooses anti-survival methods of living.
As for the Omega class, were it not for urban anonymity where they can disappear before being forced to deal with the consequences of their actions, they too would likely disappear quickly – most likely at the hands of the socially valuable Alphas and Betas. If you lived in a rural community and decided to try and screw 100 of the local women, you can almost be guaranteed to make at least 100 very motivated lifelong enemies. Keep in mind that women are like monkeys and don’t let go of one branch until they’ve gotten hold of another. Each time an Omega “scores” another man gets screwed over. Except for virgins, pretty much all women are romantically involved with someone at the time they decide to discard the old for the new. This is not conducive behavior for gaining social power amongst the other males surrounding the Omega male, and in fact will soon leave him completely powerless and struggling for survival. If an Omega were the town blacksmith and he screwed 100 of the local women, he would soon find a large portion of the town shunning him and taking their business to the next town, if someone didn’t outright kill him first for his cuckolding behavior. There is very, very little survival value for a woman and child to be attached to an Omega male. Without government welfare picking up the slack and creating a “Keynesian Sexual Marketplace,” the natural market would soon see both the Omegas and their lovers removed from the race.
And herein lies the quandary with “game” as it is put forth in the Manosphere today. We have the Omega class (low value males – lower than Beta) posing as Alphas (high value males), and since Omegas are the scum class rather than socially powerful Alphas who have other males’ cooperation (along with high female attraction), the Omegas are flourishing while Beta males are floundering after being relentlessly propagandized to emulate the weak-willed traits of the Zetas. And, in many ways, Omegas are scum for how they treat other males. There are many who believe that when out pussy-hunting, it is their right to screw other men’s wives and then get a chuckle at their cuckolding of other men. This is deviant behavior, and certainly not “Alpha.”
I have seen it pointed out before in Game circles that “Alphas” like to consider all women “theirs” and will try to undermine the “Betas” to protect his harem. This is, I believe, incorrect. It is deviant Omega behavior that does this. The Alpha has lots of social co-operation in society because he has only one chick – the hottest one – and he stays with her, thereby not screwing over multitudes of other men whose cooperation he needs in order to accomplish things. It is the Omegas that choose to screw multitudes of people over in order to achieve their sexual goals.
The Omega male will also support feminism in many regards, as it makes women sexually loose and into bonafide sluts. The Omega gamesman wants women to be sluts with a screwed up, anti-survival sense of mating, and the Omega wants his sexual competitors to be denigrated, taking on Zeta male traits to the point of them being sexually unattractive to the females in his line of vision.
Most faux-Alpha Omegas are also actively trying to dominate other men (AMOG'ing) in order to raise their sexual ranking and are quite pleased when they succeed in doing so. This is deviancy and is not conducive to social climbing but rather, it produces the opposite. Both of my high-partner count friends I ended up ejecting from my life because the troubles they brought about to themselves, and by extension to me, was enormous. They also had no qualms of sleeping with their friends' girlfriends if they could get away with it. "Bro's before ho's" had no meaning to both of my high partner count friends and there was constantly a shit-storm following them around because of it. The one - the guy who has slept with around 200 women - was relentless in trying to cock-block his friends in regard to women, unless he had banged the woman first. As long as he had screwed the chick first, he was OK with one of his buddies dating her after. I also discovered over time that he had slept with almost all of his friends' wives behind their backs at one time or another - usually during times of marital difficulty - and he even had it down to a science. When you start hearing about "nailing your friend's wife game," you know you are getting into the deviancy quadrant.
Think of the guy in the pub who always tries to comb everyone else down with his superior IQ, his superior vehicle, his superior house, his superior fighting (bragging) skills, his superior blah blah blah, compared to your stupidity, your piece of crap car and house, your wimpy attitude… yeah, that is usually the guy that ends up sitting alone in the corner all alone because nobody likes him and nobody wants to co-operate with him. Now think of that same guy but he is trying to dominate you by sexually stealing your woman, and everyone else’s woman too! Not only is it homo-erotic to try and dominate other men by proxy through women, but it also might convince some of those men to get up out of their chair and deal with the situation in a very primal way. This is not the behavior of an Alpha who has high social standing, but is deviant behavior typical of the scum/criminal class, creating damage wherever they go.
On the other hand, I know two "true alphas."
They are both assertive and dominant with their women. The one guy is one of my best friends. My jaw just dropped when I seen him walk in with his new girlfriend - the absolute hottest girl in town.
You know what? He refused to have sex with her for the first two months they dated... said he didn't want to until he knew they had real feelings for each other (ie. qualifying). He also told her she was not allowed to work as a waitress at a pub or anything like that - he just would not stand for it, having all kinds of men at the pub always hitting on her.
She conformed herself around him and they have been together now for around 16 years. When you went to their house, you rang the door bell and knew you had to wait for five minutes because they had to get dressed - after 8 or 9 years, they still had sex four times a day. The last time I was there (I don't live in the same town anymore), he was in the shower while she called and left a dirty message for him on the answering machine... I was in the living room having a beer with his dad and he was in such a hurry to get out of the shower so we wouldn't hear that he fell, ripped the curtain off the shower, and ran out naked to stop the recording. His dad and I laughed at him repeatedly all night. But good for him it is like that after all those years.
The other "alpha" I knew was a guy who married a chick fifteen years younger. He was 40 and she was 25 when they met. They had been married for a little over ten years when I knew them. He had been through the divorce wringer before and told her they were going to follow traditional gender roles, and that was that.
They would have me over for dinner, and afterwards, I would try to help cleaning up and doing the dishes.
"No no no, Rob," he would say to me. "We follow gender roles in this house. You came here to help me put siding up on the house for a weekend and she didn't help because that was man's work. Now it is time for her to do her work. Let's go into the living room and watch NASCAR."
You know, it was one of the best working marriages I've ever seen. She was very happy.
Both of these men were very popular and had lots of friends as well as respect in the community. There is definitely a difference between these men and the two high-partner-count friends I had, who got into fist fights almost as regularly as they got laid. The two "true alphas" had enormous social respect and co-operation while the two high-number friends had a vast number of enemies and were always looking over their shoulder.
Does this mean that Game in the conventional sense that we have come to know doesn’t work? Absolutely not. It works very well – especially in our false sexual marketplace coupled with the ability to disappear into a large urban environment where getting along with others socially is not nearly as important as it was only 150 years ago, and throughout most of human history before that. Also, knowing that Beta males are being socially conditioned to adopt Zeta behavior is enormously useful to regular men/Betas. Hopefully it will help the average man reverse the damage which the Zeta-promoting feminist propaganda has brainwashed him with.
But Omega is not Alpha, because Omegas make too many enemies to be socially successful with other men, and when other men don’t want to co-operate with you, you may find yourself truly screwed in society, which in turn makes Omegas of extremely low mating (survival) value. If/when our governments go broke, as well as everyone else along with them, and the failures of society can no longer count on being “bailed out,” the false sexual marketplace will disappear. Without this government interference, women who choose low-value, high mate-count Omegas will again be forced to pay, and pay dearly, for their anti-survival mating strategies and the true Alpha & Beta paradigm will again reappear, simply because of survival strategy.
These are the times we live in. With Keynesian Economics and the false influences it causes, one would have been a complete fool to have sat in gold bullion from 1980 to 2000 while passing on the rising real-estate market because of “false Keynesian influences.” You still have to live in the times you are presented with until natural forces once again over-rule synthetic ones. In the mean time you have to survive and see that your needs are still met. And so it is in the sexual marketplace of today, where men have to adjust their behaviour to ensure their needs are met, and thus certain aspects of game are indeed advisable to utilize. Perhaps the term Ethical Omegas ought to be created. It is unadvisable to pair-bond in our current political climate and yet men's need for sex is very real and cannot be denied, thus men ought to make sure that their needs are met while protecting themselves as much as possible - therefore it is indeed wise to emulate certain Omega traits such as avoiding "one-itis." But, in the back of one’s mind, it would probably be wise to remember that we are living in the times of a false sexual economy and eventually natural forces will overwhelm the synthetic ones. Natural forces have a habit of doing that.