Tuesday, March 19, 2013

"Negging"? What the Hell is That?

Here's how I would have handled the scene in the video:

Her: (reaches for my ice cream). Give me some.

Me: You can't have any. Girls have cooties.

Her: (laughing) Give me some!

Me: Say pretty please with sugar on top. With whipped cream and a strawberry.

Her: Pretty please with sugar on top with whipped cream and a strawberry.

Me: You may have one bite.

Now here's what the Lost Boys of the Manosphere think happened: Golly gee whillikers! This guy's an Alpha demonstrating he's a high-status male not taking an attractive woman seriously ("negging"), thereby showing he's not a Beta, so she'll be involuntarily attracted to him!

Me: Laughter.

Here's what is really going to happen in that video: sooner or later they will break up. He's actually showing contempt for her, and contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce or a relationship breaking up. Sometime in the future she will throw this in his face.

Neither looks that smart. What am I to think of a man who thinks he looks good with a beard and no mustache? Or a woman who thinks it's 1974 and parts her hair in the middle?

I've got this strange intuitive ability to see patterns. Then reason allows me to analyze what my intuition tells me. That's why I'm seeing a pattern in that video, and why I know their relationship will fail. The Lost Boys of the Manosphere can't see that. That's one of the reasons why they're Lost.

These delusions are what the Clueless-Betas-Who-Want-to-be-Alphas think attracts women. They picked these lunacies up from the worst parts of the Manosphere. They're based on Evolutionary Psychology, which makes me laugh.

Some fields of Psychology are a science (barely) and Evolutionary Theory isn't a science at all. I can come up with evolutionary explanations by the dozens: straight teeth show genetic fitness to reproduce by showing ability to chew food efficiently and thereby extracting all nutrients. Five toes on each foot shows genetic fitness to reproduce by giving balance necessary to run away successfully from predators. The Bushes, although of low intelligence and showing inbreeding because of narrow heads and squinty, beady little lop-sided eyes set too close together, show genetic fitness to reproduce by successfully gaining control of the government and murdering sexual competitors on the other side of the world, including children, babies, post-menopausal women, impotent old men, and pregnant teenage girls.

How about this one: "celebrities" of the Manosphere show genetic fitness to reproduce by giving bad reproductive advice to deluded and naive young men so women will laugh at them and avoid them, thereby preventing them from reproducing.

I've been reading the Manosphere for about a year. I am mystified at some of the things I read. It's almost as if some of these guys are completely at a loss and are looking for guidance. Did they not learn anything from the older mentors? Didn't they have any? Are schools and parents and churches that bad?

Let's take negging, for example. It's supposed to be a "low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances."

That is not what it is. It's about finding out if a woman has a sense of humor.

All humor, excepts puns, is based on hostility - there are always winners and losers. When you do it to undermine someone to make them vulnerable - humiliate them - that's true hostility. When you're doing it to amuse them (and yourself), the hostility is irrelevant. That hostility, however, is something you should always keep in mind.

Also keep in mind humor can be a good way to get rid of your hostility...which is why underneath that humor, many humorists are pretty darn serious people.

What counts as "Game" and negging in the Manosphere is predation based on hostility. Belittling someone and thinking they are going to be attracted to you...what a bunch of 'tards. It's the exact opposite of a humorous, occasional light teasing, which is more play than anything else. And as Dr. Stuart Brown has pointed out, play is essential. That means negging should be fun...not hostile and humiliating.

I am nearly an expert at negging. I've been doing it since I was 12, and it's just part of my character. I even do it to my male friends. I did it to my relatives, also starting at 12, and they thought I was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

Example: I bought a brownie for a woman and me.

Me: You want part of this?

Her: Sure.

Me: Here (gives her a piece the size of a BB).

Her (laughing): You're funny.

Another time:

Woman: Babble babble babble.

Me (pinches her lips shut with my forefingers and thumbs): Hush up.

Her (bursts into laughter): You're funny!

What I've found is that some women hate me. Why? Because they have no sense of humor. And if she has no sense of humor, then why would anyone want to get involved with her?

I've also found that these women who hate me not only don't have a sense of humor, they're also not very smart.

Negging is actually a filtering device to get rid of unworthy women - those with no sense of humor and little brains. Those who think it's some sort of Magic Evo-Psych Voodoo to signal you're high-status to beautiful women...try it and watch what happens. Most women aren't that dumb, and those who are, aren't worth your time. And if you're not a mindless robot spouting the worst nonsense of the Manosphere, you'll find they're not worth your time, either.

Humor is about misdirection (so is magic). Logically, then, humor is magic! They think you are going to do one thing and you do another. One thing, though: it does require some confidence in yourself.

I could have been a stand-up comedian or a magician...except they're too much work. And I'm basically lazy. Smart and funny...but lazy. And I'll say this: if you don't have natural talent, then you really don't have much of a chance. You'll just make a fool of yourself.

If you really think you can get away with nonsense like this: "Okay, I gotta control the frame here, keep cool, gotta neg her, gotta make her think I'm a Alpha who doesn't care what she thinks.." you just might met a woman who sees through you, and responds "Oh, one of those Manosphere guys, huh? Think you're an Alpha boy? Think I'm going to be attracted to you cuz you're trying to neg me? Think again, little boy." (Just remember this saying I got from the Koanic Soul website: "Whom the gods mock, they first castrate.")

What are you going to do then? I'll tell you what you'll do. Collapse. If you don't have any talent at it, and aren't fast of wit, stay out of it. As I said, there are women who hate me because of what I am. It doesn't bother me. Ask yourself if it will bother you.

By the way, if you make a woman laugh...you're in. That bit of advice is a lot more important than all that Alpha/Sigma/Dark Triad bullshit put together.

(Oh, by the way, if a woman smokes and you can make her laugh...first night.)


Enbrethiliel said...


When you were writing this, did you remember your posts on teasing children? Both are related to what you have been blogging lately about the need for play. =)

Anonymous said...

Looks like someone is admiring your work:

Anonymous said...

A neg is NOT an insult, minor or otherwise.

A neg is NOT a test to see if she has a sense of humor.

A neg is a backhanded compliment meant to signal that you are a high status man used to the company of beautiful woman and that you are not overwhelmed with her beauty, rather that you see more, that you have the savoir faire to notice that she's not as perfect as she advertises.

Unknown said...

A real man is not a mindless robot spouting the bullshit of the Manosphere. And any man who does is not popular with beautiful women...which you clearly are not.

Anonymous said...

Well put, Bob, but the non-mindless robots learning from the Manosphere are sleeping with a lot more, and a lot better looking women than are the "real men".

Example neg:

One of Bob's guys: "Do you dye your hair?" - wrong.

Charming guy: "Wow, great hear! That seems to be a really popular color now."

Did charming guy insult her? Doesn't quite seem like it, but he did just imply that: a) she dyes her hair, b) she follows the crowd.

Hot girl: *swoon*

Anonymous said...


Damn you, autocorrect!