When Randy Newman came out with his song “Short People” and sang they should be killed, he got a lot of criticism. Many people didn’t understand he was being ironic and mocking the attitudes of many people toward short men. Some people just don't have a sense of humor.
I have no idea how tall Newman is, but he looks short. So he knows what it’s like.
I am not short, by the way. I’m six-feet-tall, but I do have short friends, and they have told me horror stories.
I get the impression there are women out there who want short men to, basically, die. “How dare you not be six feet tall? Why don’t you just die?!?”
I had one friend tell me he asked a woman to dance at a nightclub and she told him, “You’re about a foot too short.” I wonder how she would feel if some guy told her, “I’m dumping you for a better-looking woman. Younger, too, and has bigger tits”?
Another told me that in college he put a sign in the student building saying he was driving home over the weekend and looking for riders to share gas. He got a call from a girl, a student there, and got along very well with her on the phone. Instant chemistry.
However, when he met her, he told me, “I could see the disappointment in her eyes,” because he was 5’7”. And on the drive she told him, “On the phone you sounded like you were six-feet-tall.” I occasionally how tall I sound on the phone.
Another guy told me he went over to a girl’s house to pick her up and she had left. You might claim that wasn’t because he was short, but would she have done this to a good-looking six-foot-tall guy? I seriously doubt it.
The second best story I heard from a short friend is when he was going to take a girl bowling while they were in college. She wanted to stop at a bar first. It turned out some of her friends were there. She told my friend, “I don’t want to go bowling.” “Do you want to do something else?” “No,” she said, and turned and walked away.
“I was sitting there in a bar with my bowling ball,” he told me. He's about 5'6".
The best story was a guy across the hall in college. He was about 5'7". He told me he asked ten women to dance at a nightclub and turned down all ten times. He had the worst self-image I had ever seen.
This is called "mirroring," which in when you see your self in what others think of you. For every one of these men, they saw what women thought of them in their actions, their comments and their expression. When someone shows contempt and disdain for you, you see it, and if it gets inside you, you end up with a poor self-image.
When people humiliate you, sometimes people seek revenge. Most often, actually. That's why people shouldn't be humiliated. For that matter, people who humiliate people have problems of their own.
One of my short friends became a dentist and oral surgeon. He is quite wealthy, has a one-hundred-year-old three-story house with one of those huge attics people used to put the crazy aunt in, and a big back yard with a privacy fence. His office is in the backyard, so he’s basically home all the time. If I was a envious person, I would envy him. When he’s not working on patients, he works on his garden and plays with his dogs.
He married an Asian woman a bit shorter than him. I’ve spent a lot of time at his house and have seen the looks of many of his female patients when they saw his wife. “How dare you be rich and marry an Asian woman! You’re supposed to marry a white woman! Specifically, me! And how dare you be 5’6” instead of 6’. I hate you! Why don’t you just die?!?!”
It is bizarre.
There have been times I’ve stood in stores with a short friend and the woman behind the counter flirted with me, but didn’t even look at him. I wondered if it ever occurred to them he was a friend of mine and they should at least say hi to him?
Hmmm…perhaps all short people should just die. Now that I think about it, they’ve caused me a lot of trouble.
2 comments:
"This is called "mirroring," which in when you see your self in what others think of you. For every one of these men, they saw what women thought of them in their actions, their comments and their expression. When someone shows contempt and disdain for you, you see it, and if it gets inside you, you end up with a poor self-image."
Thanks for having the insight to see this. It's one of the worst things about being a short male. Even people who admit that short men are at disadvantage when it comes to dating will turn right around and tell those same short men to "quit your whining". Or even better, after years and years of rejection because of something you have no control over, they will always find some way to rationalize that your lack of confidence and poor self image is somehow your own fault. If you ever have some free time and want to see just how bizarre (or blatantly hypocritical) it can get, go read the twitter comments located here:
https://twitter.com/expsnghghtsm
And of course, all women who have a poor self body image are victims of an unfair media and/or patriarchal society.
This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.
One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me.
I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier would not have given me the time of day. And even now, they may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young? I was amazed how the dating game changed in my favor. And I used it to my advantage, just as women had done years earlier.
I am now married and have 4 sons. So, if you find yourself in your late 20’s or early 30’s with no prospect of a husband or children in the immediate future, you have no one to blame but yourself. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man (and Beta males) until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males (and Beta males) in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate. There are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a tall girl.
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