Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Pistols as Equalizers

I once had a girlfriend who decided to be a libertarian and therefore also decided that firearms are good things. Unfortunately, sometimes, there is a disconnect between what one thinks and what one feels.

Intellectually she was all for firearms. Emotionally she couldn’t touch one. I once took her to a shooting range; she couldn’t hold a firearm there, couldn’t shoot one, and told me her hands were sweating just being around all those guns.

That’s when I decided women should learn to handle firearms as little girls.

Firearms are equalizers. That’s what they were called in the Old West, because a woman who carried one was equal to the biggest, strongest man.

I did finally get her to hold my unloaded .32 semi-automatic, but still could never get her to fire it. Even today, she still has never fired a pistol, although she fully understands “a liberal is someone who’d rather see a women raped and strangled with her pantyhose than defend herself with a pistol.”

She once wrote an article for an online magazine about having never shot a firearm, and she told me she got 300 emails from guys wanting to show her how.

That’s why I tell women, you want to meet a lot of guys and be really popular? Tell them you want to learn how to shoot. There will be flocks of men swarming you.

Hate to say it, but I think about 90% of women are natural socialists, which is why so many of them think guns are yucky things and delude themselves with the utterly ridiculous idea that if boys don’t have plastic guns there won’t be any wars when they grow up.

I tell them all guns are harmless. They’ll lie there forever until someone picks them up and uses them. It’s not the tool that’s the problem; it’s the fool.

So, then, fathers (and smart mothers) are changed with the duty to raise their girls to like firearms, and to remove that socialist instinct in them.

Personally, I’d like to see all women like firearms…and knives and swords…and Vulcan mini-guns…and laser rifles…and Barsoomian radium pistols!

It’d be a much safer world.

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