Sunday, May 10, 2015

"Why men won’t marry you"

In my experience I noticed things really going wrong between men and women when I was about 26. That was about 1983. It was not men not getting married "because they could," as George Gilder suggests. I've read several of Gilder's books and seen him interviewed on TV and I pretty much dismiss his opinion on everything. He's one of those stopped-clock guys.

One thing I noticed (perhaps even when younger) is that some unattractive, overweight women truly overvalued themselves and were convinced they deserved a man way out of their league. Don't think that's something new. It's not.

People who think women "are more sexually available" don't much much about history. You should hear the stories my father told me and he was born in 1932. He did stuff I never did. People have been screwing their brains out since the human race has been around and marriage had nothing to do with it.

Yes, there is very little benefit for men today concerning marriage. It's supposed to be about love but I guarantee love can die.

A lot of women cannot put themselves in men's places. The Manosphere calls it "solipsism" but it's not. It's just plain old narcissism - being self-centered and thinking the person is an object to serve you.

I have very rarely seen any appreciation or gratitude from women toward men. They don't realize men invented everything in the world and if they withdraw from supporting the world women would realize that in a few hours when their electrical power and water went off.

I am reminded of something Samuel Johnson wrote: "Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little." The law tilts too much toward many women today. Not all, of course, but many.

Speaking of Samuel Johnson, he had a lot to say on the subject of men and women. Here's one: "As, notwithstanding all that wit, or malice, or pride, or prudence will be able to suggest, men and women must at last pass their lives together, I have never therefore thought those writers friends to human happiness, who endeavour to excite in either sex a general contempt or suspicion of the other. To persuade them who are entering the world, and looking abroad for a suitable associate, that all are equally vicious or equally ridiculous; that they who trust are certainly betrayed, and they who esteem are always disappointed; is not to awaken judgment, but to inflame temerity."

Marriage is in many ways a legal contract (as it should be). The man gets kids and the woman gets support. The contract has been broken. The woman can gets kids and the man gets nothing.

These days, the risks far outweigh the rewards. A lot of stick and not much carrot.

This article is from Women for Men.


Where have all the husbands gone?

That’s a question Peter Lloyd tackles in a series in London’s Daily Mail about Britain’s marriage rate, which is at its lowest level since 1895. “The state of matrimony is not just ailing. It is dying out faster than a mobile phone battery,” Lloyd writes. “For an army of women, Mr. Right is simply not there, no matter how hard they look for him.”

Things are no better this side of the Atlantic. According to Pew Research Center, the share of American adults who’ve never been married is at an historic high—and men are more likely than women to have never made it down the aisle (23% vs. 17% in 2012).

What gives? Why are men here and abroad avoiding the altar in spades?

1. Because they can: Men used to marry to have sex and a family. They married for love, too, but they had to marry the girl before taking her to bed, or at least work really, really hard to wear her down. Those days are gone.

When more women make themselves sexually available, the pool of marriageable men diminishes. “In a world where women do not say no, the man is never forced to settle down and make serious choices,” writes George Gilder, author of “Men and Marriage.”

Scoff if you wish. Call me a fuddy-duddy. But how’s that new plan working out?

2. Because there’s nothing in it for them: What exactly does marriage offer men today? “Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,” says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of “Men on Strike.” “They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”

Unlike women, men lose all power after they say “I do.” Their masculinity dies, too.

What’s left of it, that is. In the span of just a few decades, America has demoted men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons. Today’s sitcoms and commercials routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he.

There was a time when wives respected their husbands. There was a time when wives took care of their husbands as they expected their husbands to take care of them.

Or perhaps therein lies the rub. If women no longer expect or even want men to “take care of” them — since women can do everything men can do and better, thank you very much, feminism — perhaps the flipside is the assumption that women don’t need to take care of husbands, either. And if no one’s taking care of anyone, why the hell marry?

For women, the reason is obvious: kids. Eventually most women decide they want children, no matter how long they put it off to focus on their careers. So they often nab the best guy they can find, usually the one with whom they’re currently sleeping, and convince him to get married.

If the man refuses, we call him, as Smith notes, a “commitment phobe.” But is that fair? Perhaps these men know all too well that women initiate the vast majority of divorces — anywhere from 65-90 percent, depending on demographics. And when they do, they take the kids with them and hang hubby out to dry with the help of a court system that’s heavily stacked in their favor. In the past, Mom got the kids because she was home with them doing the thankless, unpaid, mountainous work associated with that role. Today, neither parent is home, so there’s no reason the default custodial parent should be Mom.

So remind me, why would a man marry today?

No, really. What’s in it for him?

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

"One thing I noticed (perhaps even younger) is that some unattractive, overweight women truly overvalued themselves and were convinced they deserved a man way out of their league."

There is a epidemic of women like this. Even mediocre women get loads of attention, compliments and come ons on the internet (like Facebook, Tinder, dating websites). It all goes to their head, and they think it will last forever.

Anonymous said...

Those that promote marriage for men (a crime that should be punishable via misdemeanor) will say that men live longer, are better behaved, drink less alcohol, etc. I always laugh when I read those articles because they discount the fact that so many men are either destroyed through divorce or are too afraid of poverty to divorce their wives.

Marriage - Because shoving your junk into a financial guillotine is just so enviable. Because getting screwed in the ass by the law and then proceeding to feed a used up whore via child support until you die is the right move.

The Obvious said...

"He should hear the stories my father told me and he was born in 1932. He did stuff I never did."

That sounds interesting, can you tell us more?

Bob Wallace said...

Oh, no, we're talking about whores calling to him from their windows when he was 13. That's the least of it.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, no, we're talking about whores calling to him from their windows when he was 13. That's the least of it."

@Bob:

Were the whores the same age as him, 13, or older women? Damn.

You've already said too much, you can't leave us hanging now - Do tell. Please regale your blog readers with these wondrous, sordid tales of debauchery of a time long ago.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the second commenter in that enticing a man into the marriage woodchipper without warning him of the dangers is borderline criminal behaviour.

Until society is securing him full rights and offering ten acres of good land and a virgin bride, he should extend his middle digit and just go do his thing. - Jerry

Earl Thomas said...

Separating men from God, separating sex from marriage, and sex from producing children...has really led to separating men from women.

While I don't doubt people were having sex back then as much as they do now they didn't have the contraceptives or technology we have now. What has also changed is how women view men and it is with complete vile. Back then they respected them, now they are programmed to hate and compete with them. I'm surprised guys still have sex with these women who hate them but I do understand a lot of guys can't or don't know how to control their sex drive.

I'd ask...why would a man marry someone who is programmed to hate him and why would a woman marry someone whom she is programmed to hate? Obviously this is not the way it should be...but that's the way it is in this period of history.

Mindstorm said...

'What's in for him?'

An excitement of playing with fire? It would take a daredevil to enjoy that. :)

The Obvious said...

"Oh, no."

You are no fun Bob.

MGTOW'd Out said...

"Those that promote marriage for men (a crime that should be punishable via misdemeanor) will say that men live longer, are better behaved, drink less alcohol, etc. I always laugh when I read those articles because they discount the fact that so many men are either destroyed through divorce or are too afraid of poverty to divorce their wives."

I always laugh when I read those articles that oppose marriage on the grounds that it will end up in disaster for MOST men.

Marriage - Because finding the right woman is something that is generally worthwhile to raise a family. Because the joy of parenting and growing old with someone is the next step in being an adult, rather than constantly berating about the doom of marriage.

Again, we all know, you HATE marriage. Fine, never marry and produce offspring. Just because you're a negative Nelly doesn't mean that other men have to buy into your misery.


"why would a man marry someone who is programmed to hate him and why would a woman marry someone whom she is programmed to hate? "
Way to overgeneralize yet again, Earl.

Anonymous said...

"Marriage - Because finding the right woman is something that is generally worthwhile to raise a family. Because the joy of parenting and growing old with someone is the next step in being an adult, rather than constantly berating about the doom of marriage."

Finding the right woman? Really? Just where do they sell those crystal balls, sweets? See, you're playing the oldest game in the book, darlin. It's called bait and switch. In this game, the man is supposed to think he's found the "right woman" and marry her. Then, a year, five years, twenty years or more later, she's not happy, is unfullfilled and wants to write the next chapter of her life without the man that loved her all those years - but rather the local pool boy or bartender. She will however want the man's pension and whatever other assets she can redistribute to herself.

You're not fooling me, hun. Next time, pick on someone as stupid as yourself.

MGTOW'd Out said...

Dear, I'm not fooling anymore. You're just fooling yourself. Stay single. Enjoy life. And waste away in the process...

Bob Wallace said...

"Were the whores the same age as him, 13, or older women? Damn."

He never said but I'm sure they were at least in their late teens. Even then the cops would not have let 13-year-olds hang out windows soliciting customers.

Mindstorm said...

[...] the joy of parenting and growing old with someone [...]

Hahahaha. Whatever you might say, whatever. Growing old, regardless of circumstances, is no joy. As for parenting, being cut from it prematurely is the stuff that murder-suicides originate from.

So you would decline a jump with a parachute only when a majority of them would not open?

If you were so fervent selling sand on Sahara, you would have a fortune already, hag.

Mindstorm said...

"being cut off from it"

Again....

MGTOW'd Out said...

"Growing old, regardless of circumstances, is no joy".

Growing old, in and of itself, indeed, is no joy. But growing old with someone is something observably different.


"As for parenting, being cut from it prematurely..."

Perhaps you missed this telling statistic--96% percent of all divorces that have children end up NOT in court--the parents freely choose how to make the living arrangements.


"If you were so fervent selling sand on Sahara, you would have a fortune already, hag."

That's sir to you, not hag.

Anonymous said...

"Perhaps you missed this telling statistic--96% percent of all divorces that have children end up NOT in court--the parents freely choose how to make the living arrangements."

Please cite evidence for this assertion.

Mindstorm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mindstorm said...

"That's sir to you, not hag."

You wish, whatever.