Never Chase After a Woman and Never Tell Her Where You Are Going

In college, when I was 21, I bought a car that I was going to fix. I was towing it with my other car while my girlfriend drove the towed car. I was going through alleys, and every time I had to stop she hit the back of my car.

I let it go about three times before I got out and asked, "Are you having some problems you should tell me about? You keep crashing into the back of my car."

Then for some reason she jumped out of the car and ran away. So I sat on the hood of my car and smoked one of my little cigars.

She came back about ten minutes later and said, "You were supposed to chase me!"

To which I answered, "I will never chase you or any other woman." Of course, she never did it again.

Now some will say, "That's a shit test." No, it wasn't. It's just that female bullshit love of drama and to feel wanted. And God knows I've seen enough of that, which is one of the reasons many women make such lousy managers.

The dumber a woman is, the more female-hysterical she is. Since they don't have a real life they fill it with drama and hysteria. For that matter, no-class men do the same thing.

I also get women who want to know where I'm going. Usually I just walk out and not answer them. If they don't get it I finally explain to them, "I am not your child and you are not my mother. If you stop asking me where I am going I will tell you."

I use the same technique when they try to screen my calls. "I am not your child and you are not my mother."

I figure in many ways some women are just big kids. Not all, of course, but Schopenhauer thought all of them were. But he was a cranky German philosopher.

As for the ever-popular "What are you thinking?" my stock answer it, "I never think. I always have a low hum in my head which I use to tune women out. And some guys, too, for that matter."

I have yet to meet a woman who wouldn't tolerate these things.