"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." - Tony Robbins
"Ingratitude is the essence of vileness." -- Immanuel Kant
My, how things have changed. How things always change, and oftentimes for the worse. I can't quite remember the quote, or who said it (one of those Greek guys, I think), but it was along the lines of, "Any change not necessary is an evil." But then, change is inherent in nature, including change for the worse, so we'd better make sure we can minimize the disruptions. We're not doing a very good job of that right now.
I see a fair amount of lack of respect and appreciation today. Indeed, I see quite a few small fish in even smaller pools, who think they are big fish. They are incapable of handling even the slightest bit of authority, and that translates into trying to humiliate people...which they don't even know they trying to do.
The German word "achtung" means "attention, respect, esteem." German often seems to have more accurate words than English, such as "vorfreude," which means "the joyful anticipation for something or someone." Then there is one that has made it into English: "schadenfreude," which means the pleasure you get from the misfortunes of others. In English, it's usually reserved for those who deserve their misfortunes.
But I digress a bit.
In college I had a friend who was practically a dwarf. No, not really. He was just short, about 5'6". I was mystified at some of the things he told me. Women who stood him up on dates. Ones who left in the middle of dates. Ones who insulted him about his height. He didn't get much respect, or appreciation, from some women.
No respect, no appreciation, no gratitude. Enough so that he clearly remembers it. Fortunately, he did get enough to turn into a decent guy.
People who don't get the appreciation they should - which means people are grateful to them - handle it in different ways. Sometimes they think they deserve it, which leads to depression and self-abasement.
Some just get resentful and angry. I think the French word "ressentiment" is more accurate: "a sense of hostility directed at that which one identifies as the cause of one's frustration, that is, an assignment of blame for one's frustration." Which means if you are abused and disrespected, and don't get much appreciation, or gratitude, you're going to figure out who is doing that to you, and zero in on them, perhaps looking to deal out some revenge...or justice.
Now as for those who don't feel any gratitude or appreciation, they've got their problems, too, and they are some pretty damn big ones. I am reminded of something Meister Eckhart said: "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."
Now that I think about it, saying "Thank you," although these days it's just a formality, really is supposed to mean, "I'm grateful to you for what you did for me."
Robbins is right: when you are grateful, fear does disappear and you feel that abundance that Eckhart hinted at.
One of the biggest places where I see a lack of respect is in the workplace. I'm not surprised when someone walks off and sabotages the place. I've seen that, more than once. Or sues the place. I've seen that, too, more than once.
The second biggest problem I've seen is the relationships between men and women, and when it comes to lack of gratitude and appreciation, it's women who are the biggest offenders.
Men have generally been protectors/providers, and now that's being thrown in their faces, even taken away. And what do many women reciprocate with? Contempt, disrespect.
Contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce. There are in fact four main predictors of divorce: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
So many men have been so criticized and held in contempt they have become defensive and started stonewalling. They are now "divorcing" women without even being married. And they're refusing to get married, so they're not providing for them. They're starting to cease protecting them. Or else they're Going Their Own Way. Or they're turning the tables and becoming predators.
Almost all of this - perhaps all of it - is caused by a lack of respect, gratitude, appreciation.
The contract has been broken. I'd actually call it a sacred contract, and it's been thrown in the gutter.