I Am The Uncle You Never Had

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

I get a fair number of people asking me what I think about certain things.

One thing I have found out is that the first defense people use is to blame their problems on innocent people. It's the most infantile thing people do, and one of the most dangerous things in the world. M. Scott Peck called this scapegoating "the genesis of human evil."

Another thing I have learned is that dumb people don't learn from their own mistakes, smarter people learn from their own, and the smartest learn from others, i.e., history.

I also know that you have to have some sort of meaning or purpose in your life. The Greeks understood this, which is why they pointed out you achieve eudaimonia (flourishing, well-being) through arete (excellence). That's what I mean about paying attention to history and what it tells you.

Here's an example: I know a man who knows everything there is to know about Volkswagens. In the area I used to live there were a lot of those old VW Bugs, and he would build one from the ground up. He never took any classes; he taught himself. Yet people with VW problems always went to him.

He's made enough money to buy some land outside town, and built a small house.

He works for himself, he likes what he does, and he's good at it. That's what I mean about well-being coming from being good at something. You have to have this. If you don't achieve this you won't have much of a life.

I've posted this before, but it illustrates something very important:

Walter White's problem was Hubris. He had no Prudence (choosing the right path out of many).

Prudence is one of the Four Cardinal Virtues, which some think are obsolete. Not even close. In order to achieve well-being you have to have Prudence (to choose the right path). You have to have Self-Control, which means discipline (like taking the time to learn how to build a car from the ground up, or learning how to do programming). It's the opposite of being impulsive, which leads to catastrophes including prison and death.

You have to have Courage, which means confidence and perseverance, or believing in yourself. And you have to have Justice, which means each his due.

It's better to work for yourself these days, if you can. I was stuck years ago by something the father told the son in Laura Ingall Wilder's Farmer Boy: if you work for someone else, you will be a wage-slave and you will never be your own man.

And that's what it's about: being your own man. Having control and power over your own life. (Incidentally, "virtue" really means "the powers of man.")

At best, what you do should feel like play. "Play" doesn't necessarily mean "fun." Play can be a serious thing.

The above is not hard to memorize. The Four Cardinal Virtues, and arete to achieve eudaimonia. All of them are interrelated and none are separate from the others.

Now...women. You are the leader and she is the follower. The Bible has some really good, practical advice about this.

I remember when I was in my early 20's I told my girlfriend: "I am the one who ultimately makes the decisions. I will listen to what you have to say, and you might be able to change my mind, but in the long run I'll decide what gets done."

She said nothing, which is an illustration of the old saying, "Silence is acquiescence." And she did accept it.

There is a saying today, "Never listen to what a woman says, only what she does." That applies to men, too. It applies to everyone, and to use a saying from the Bible: "You will know them by their fruits."

You'd better have a sense of humor. There is a lot of silly terms in the Manosphere, and a lot of very bad and indeed dangerous advice, but one that makes sense is "amused mastery." That's a good concept, a very good one.

To me that means being cocky/funny, which is my case is a talent I was born with. (I once had a woman tell, "You are an arrogant asshole," but she stayed with me for a long time. She also told a friend of mine, "He really is quite charming and witty.")

Don't argue with women; lots of them like the drama. I've walked out the door and never told them where I was going. Their attitude is different when you return.

She'd better have some respect, gratitude and appreciation for you. Without that...the relationship won't work. She'd better understand that men created everything in the world, women didn't, and that women are 100% dependent on men.

The biggest red flag that things are headed downhill is when she starts showing contempt for you.

That's why you lead and she follows. And ultimately, that's what most - in fact, almost all - women want.

"When a wife develops a healthy sense of gratitude for everything her husband does for her, she is elevating him in her eyes." - Donal Graeme

"Fix your own ungrateful heart." - Sunshine Mary