When I was in college I delivered pizzas. Once, when my car broke down after I had delivered my last one, I knocked on the door of a "starter" house (do they exist anymore?) and the man let me use his phone (there was no cellphones at that time).
His wife and two kids were there.
I experienced something usual, and I still wonder about it and other experiences like it.
The man and his life appeared to be very happy. What I was picking up from them was happiness, warmth, friendliness.
I've never been able to figure out if I imagined these things or if I was somehow really picking up those feelings radiating from this family. But I lean towards picking up those feelings.
It reminded me of a saying I once read: "the peace and joy of happily-married life." William James said something similar about the peace and happiness of a good marriage, and how surprised he was at what he experienced.
That's what I was picking up from these people. Peace and happiness.
Later, I gained admittance to what was clearly a very expensive house, almost a mansion. The feeling was one of coldness and distance. No one was paying the slightest bit of attention to anyone.
I've experienced both several times, but not in such extreme form. Which leads me to think most marriages or neither very happy or very unhappy. Extremely happy ones are rare, but then, so are extremely unhappy - they get divorced.
When parents do not have a happy marriage, what then do children have to emulate? I'm sure that has a lot of do with the poor state of relationships between men and women.
I have a friend whose parents fought all the time. He and I both agree that these arguments happen because the husband and wife enjoy them. Yet they rarely understand the effect it has on the kids.
My friend in fact once pulled a .22 rifle on his father, watched his mother split his father's scalp open with a phone, watched his father accidentally knock his mother out.
Then there were the unending police cars outside the house.
My friend is not married. He's said he never wanted to be married. He was a 21-year-old son, but he's not married.
Unfortunately men are the true romantics - and I've lost count of the divorced men I know who now hate women - because they didn't want to get divorced and the ex-wife raped them in our joke of a court system.
Then there are the never-married or divorced women who are full of hate and rage. I've seen several of these women and they lash out at any man in their vicinity.
I have a hard time imagining any of these people having happily-married parents to emulate.
A few months ago, I suppose, I saw an older man on TV - perhaps 65 - who spoke rapturously of his long-term marriage. One argument in 40 years.
Sitting a few seats from him was an unmarried man apparently his late 20s - and his attitude was the exact opposite of the older man.
Neither man spoke about their parent's marriages. I wish they had.
Obviously, the older man came from a different time. The younger man came from the modern times.
It's not just the emulation of a good marriage, there's a lack of education. The Old Testament, for all the horrors in it, also contains some very good wisdom about men and women. Is that still taught in church? Apparently not.
Good advice also exists in literature. I was surprised when I read Nathaniel Hawthorne, he of The Scarlet Letter we read in high school. Yet he, too, wrote about the greatness of a happy marriage. He had the experience - he was writing about his own ("We were never so happy as now—never such wide capacity for happiness, yet overflowing with all that the day and every moment brings to us. Methinks this birth-day of our married life is like a cape, which we have now doubled and find a more infinite ocean of love stretching out before us").
What literature exits today about such things? If it does exist, I'm not familiar with it.
We lack almost everything about what makes a happy marriage: examples, church, literature.
It's gotten so bad one of my friends mentioned to me he knows a 45-year-old women, going back to college, who took a class on "Society and Marriage," or a class with a similar name. He told me he was surprised at the wisdom in the textbook.
Is this how these things are taught today? In college? It's better than nothing, but way too late.
You're such not going to get much good advice from the Manosphere, not with the babbling from the more popular writers, many of whom are liars and frauds, about "alphas" and the "Dark Triad" and other such inaccurate concepts.
I wonder what the future. But then, I often wonder about the future.
The marriage rate is about 50%, which means it's really going to affect children, since the family is the bedrock of society.
It's been a long time since I've been in a house where I felt that peace and happiness from the family within. Years, actually.
That's not good at all, for men, for women, for children, for society.