Sunday, March 18, 2012

Oodles of Popularity

An "Oodle" is a unit of popularity discovered -- or maybe just created -- by me when I was about 21. Oodles range from 0 to 100, with 100 being the same as One Bob, and 0 being absolute unpopularity

Since I was so popular, I figured out some things about women.

I have noticed women who are unattractive in face and figure are never going to be popular. This is sad, but it is true. Oddly, women who have nice faces but are fat can be popular, although it is always with short scrawny guys. I do not understand that combination, but I see it at Wal-Mart a lot.

However, fat women with nice faces have to be friendly, talkative and approachable. That's what makes them popular.

The most popular women, as everyone nows, have nice faces, nice figures and are friendly, talkative and approachable. This is obvious and everyone knows it.

A woman with a nice face and figure, if she is unpleasant (and most of them do not know they are) can get laid but cannot attractive a long-term boyfriend. Or, for that matter, any kind of boyfriend at all.

Most of this is an illustration of that old saying, a man can get married but a woman can get laid. However, some can do neither.

I've been told by some elderly women that when they were growing up, their mothers told them to not turn down guys for a date, since they never knew how it would turn out. And they were told to be friendly.

This doesn't happen anymore, for that most part.

In college women were often whining to me there "are no guys." I told them straight out, be friendly, talk to them, and be approachable. They gaped at me like I had sprouted antennae, even though what I was pointing out was obvious!

They apparently thought they were supposed to sit there like bumps of a log and Prince Charming was supposed to show up and sweep them off of their feet, no matter what kind of bores they were.

Parents apparently don't give their children any practical advice about these things. And I'm still having to explain these things to women. And they're still gaping at me like I have antennae.

I also get the antennae look when I point out a woman who describes herself as "strong, independent, successful, smart," etc., can be described in one word: unpleasant. That's why men don't want anything to do with them.

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