Thursday, October 16, 2014

"The Incredibly Seductive Pull of a Very Skilled Narcissist"

"Butters falls in love with one of the waitresses (named Lexus), and obsesses over her throughout the episode, failing to see the insincerity of her interest in him." - The South Park episode "Raisins."

One of the amusing things about "Game" and self-proclaimed "Alphas" is that they think the applications of their beliefs actually works almost all the time. As if women are automatons who can't help with the "tingles" and their attraction to "Alphas." These guys apparently have little clue there are narcissistic "Dark Triad" women who can make fools of these men. How? Because men are the real romantics. And when they fall, they fall hard, and they never know what hit them. Think of the movie, Body Heat. Or the Elvin Bishop song, "Fooled Around and Fell in Love."

Mythologically these women are Seductresses, and many men are fools before them, no matter how deluded they think they are "Alphas" immune to them. It's sad but inevitable that such arrogance leads to a fall.

There are a few men immune to what is done to them. They're psychopaths. Of course, there are psychopathic women!

This is from the site Dr. Sam.

"If an extreme narcissist were religious, he would worship himself. He would apply to himself the phrase that says, “You shall have no other gods besides ME!” Narcissist are full to the maximum… with themselves.

"In my years of studying human nature and counseling many individuals, I have come across an amazing type of narcissist. This kind of narcissist is the one who is so seductive he makes you like or believe in him or her with your whole heart. In my personal opinion, this type is the most dangerous of all narcissists. The following are some characteristics of this impressive little “god.”

Charming

"Charm creates a feeling of being delightfully attracted to something. You can be fascinated with something or someone because of beauty. Though the looks of a person can be stunning to the point of you saying, “Wow!”, nevertheless, a captivating narcissist does not necessarily have to have good looks to draw you in. Good looks, definitely, can increase the magnetic pull towards the narcissist, but that is not the core. You can also be charmed by the pulling power of someone reflecting you so as to create a deep rapport. This intense connection is created when a person gives you the feeling like you’ve known them a long time or you feel initially safe with them. They have unlocked the door to your insides. A skilled extreme narcissist knows just how to reflect your music back to you so that you feel like he has your playlist of favorite songs.

More astute than you

"An astute person is one who creatively figures out some unique and impressive angle quickly, an angle few think about. Skilled narcissists can typically outsmart most folks. They are three steps ahead of you. They are also fast in coming out with these unique approaches. That is why you are constantly intrigued by them. When your relationship sours with one of these narcissists, you better watch out. They generally have already thought through how you might react and are ready to discredit you or destroy you. They have their ducks in order. When they get a lawyer you can bet that they are determined to humiliate and obliterate you.

Great storyteller

"A skillful narcissist can be some of the greatest storytellers. They can weave a complex story and mesmerize you with amazing statistics, trivia, quotes, history of events, to the point that you could feel overwhelmed. Naturally, they would be the center of those stories, often re-writing history. These skillful narcissists are hardly boring. They incessantly can talk to you with interesting information. Those I have known, I have often gleaned amazing information from. They too are students of human nature, but with a goal in mind. Their goal is to further their power by enhancing their stature and influence among those around them. Sometimes they exaggerate their claims and position. The media abounds with examples, ranging from politicians and business people to actors who are given to hype.

Believable

"Skillful narcissists work hard at being believable about their myths of themselves. They arm themselves with information that enhances their position and even can change the numbers to suit their arguments. The end goal is to snag you into his/her lair. One trick they use is to play the game of appearing magnanimous. In other words, they appear to take the high road of being nobler than you by forgiving your mistakes. Many times this is a set up to later trash or destroy you. I remember one who came into my office with their former lover. The narcissist said something like, “God knows how dysfunctional I am… and of course, I have my own therapist that I speak to about this… but… Could you please help my former partner here who is so vindictive… and mean… as a matter of fact, I think this person should have an MRI because they have behavior that is similar to that of a person having a brain tumor.” I could not believe how creative this attack was. I had to read between the lines to see the fake tears of this narcissist trying to take the position of Mother Teresa.

Able to cover tracks

"I am always amazed at how a skillful narcissist can cover their tracks. They will play two women at the same time and cover it up with some important business emergency out-of-town meeting. I’ve even seen them have false online identifications. Some may even exaggerate accomplishments, and though they work at a prestigious firm, they might be a junior member or a hated boss who steals credit from others. They can frame the theft as them first having the original ideas. One story sticks out in my mind with a skilled male narcissist who married a woman that he slowly destroyed over the years. It got so bad that one night he got right in her face and spit at her. She had to push him away from her and call the police. When they showed up, she was asked, “Did you touch him?” She said, “Yes, I pushed him.” They hauled her away for being the supposed perpetrator of domestic violence. On the way out and with a concerned face, the narcissist said to the police, “Please be careful. She needs her medication because she is a bipolar person!” Judge for yourself.

Among the greatest actors in the world

"One of the main characteristics of narcissism is that there is a wounded and/or insecure child inside the adult. To survive and compensate, the child has to divert attention and give appearances that are not necessarily true. The skilled narcissist has had many years of theatric practice often changing roles to suit the situation. Because they perceive that their very life is at stake they are zealous to protect and perfect their disguises. These theatric roles cover a wide range. Some are comedic. Others are highly “respectable.” There are also those who use intimidation to create distance and admiration or respect. They might use leather, tattoos, piercings, chains, motorcycles, cars, brash loudness, etc. They can also choose to be the lovable and huggable teddy bear persona. With the skillful narcissist, it is not so easy. The reason for this is that they actually believe they are the persona. I have had narcissists, in a moment of rare transparency and “weakness”, admit to me that they don’t even know who they are.

Be wise

"As you can see, the skillful narcissist is a person with some pretty amazing traits. In my opinion, they can be formidable. They can be impressive in power, strength, intelligence, size, and difficulty. If you find one opposing you, they can be astounding enemies. They are not omnipotent, though they might think so. They do have limitations. Their ego is their own undoing. Many times, when they discover that you are on to them, they disappear. They do this if they perceive that you can blow their cover and expose them as a sham. For an extreme narcissist, being fully exposed to the world is the greatest pain in their lives. It is also the best medicine to their disease because it will force them to look inside and deal with their pain and wounds. If and when that happens, they will become like the rest of us, realizing that we do need others to help and love us. They will see how they need to love from a genuine heart that does not seek to use people. A former and healed narcissist can turn all his powerful assets, which he used to advance himself, to making a powerful contribution in the lives of others and being realistically liked. In the meantime, be careful and avoid being duped and drawn by the amazing magnetism of this kind of person."


Wikipedia: "A femme fatale is a stock character of a mysterious and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. She is an archetype of literature and art. Her ability to entrance and hypnotise her victim with a spell was in the earliest stories seen as being literally supernatural; hence, the femme fatale today is still often described as having a power akin to an enchantress, seductress, vampire, witch, or demon, having power over men."

8 comments:

Anders said...

The first and only time I fell in love, it was with a woman I would describe as a siren. Specifically, she was a stripper at a strip club, and every moment of physical intimacy I had with her was pay for play. Of course she would tell me she cared for me and it wasn't all about the money, and ,"I don't normally do this." and "I haven't been with that many guys." but I couldn't believe her, though the naiive romantic in me wanted to more than anything.
After about six weeks of seeing her, she left me with a broken heart and $6000 dollars lighter. I've been very bitter towards women ever since. But it set me on the path of trying to understand women. It's kind of a Faustian path.

Glen Filthie said...

Hmmmm. Dunno, Bob. Women can be romantic too - I know my wife certainly is.

Seduction is an art, and my wife and I have split a gut laughing at the 'alpha-gamers' as they excrete manly advice on how to handle women on the internet. 'Game' and games get old and tiresome; true love doesn't.

There is no defence against the skilled seducer for the lonely man or woman except common sense. It used to be that marriage and courtship were the tools to measure sincerity and commitment but all that has gone out the window for legions of stupid people who have turned to divorce and the 'hook-up' culture.

I may be an old world man with an old world wife with obsolete values - but they work and we are happy. Women do not come with User Manuals - and if they did, they sure as hell wouldn't be written by the poseurs of the manosphere! HAR HAR HAR!

Bob Wallace said...

Anders,

I've seen that happen to other guys.

"Sirens: (Greek singular: Σειρήν Seirēn; Greek plural: Σειρῆνες Seirēnes) were dangerous yet beautiful creatures, portrayed as femmes fatales who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island."

A.B. Prosper said...

The antibiotic Minocycline has a side effect that purportedly protects men from this kind of behavior, the so called honey trap by what they think is microglial inhibition. Its dangerous to use though and little understood

It would be nice to isolate that element and vaccinate every guy at puberty with it especially if it could be used to protect from male narcissists as well.

This might end up destroying civilization though .It could end up turning everyone into sōshoku danshi, grass eaters which while great for population reduction if you think that is a good idea is not good for civilization as a whole.

It might also inhibit healthy trust too much which is a bad outcome.

Alternately it would be good to develop some objective method by which narcissists and people on far on the sociopath spectrum, both male and female and eliminate them from society.

That later is too fraught with risk though and as you've mentioned that they master manipulators.

However it would be possible right now to use wearable tech like Google Glass with manipulation detection algorithms rigged to a shock device if one wanted.

If the manipulation is detected, you get buzzed and various audio-visual messages and warnings were played.

Its a bit bring on the dystopia though I admit to a certain degree of amusement at the prospect.

My low tech solution is simple, MGTOW and it works.

As an aside, technologically mitigated bad conduct is hardly new. The Glass idea was sort of inspired by a dystopian story I read as a kid where causing social stress caused automatic fines and how one dude used the system to his own ends. I can't remember the title though, sorry

A.B. Prosper said...

Anders, history and folklore is replete with guys making the same mistake.

In Japanese history and folklore its usually a Geisha, in the Demi Monde and elsewhere, Courtesans.

Heck among the rich, young women do this to marry up.

Swearing off women has its merits but if you can't, as the Bible says its better to marry than to burn than learning from your mistakes is he best bet to future happiness. I'm a man going his own way type (though I do not identify as MGTOW) but even I know not all women are awful.

last so as to not feel so bad, a legal prostitute is 2-300 in the US, more for "extras" depending on how much sex you got and how bad the heartbreak was, you weren't ripped off that badly.

Anders said...

A.B. Prosper, I am already aware of the current going rate for prostitutes, but thanks for the comparison.
The thing is, between all the $20 drinks and private lap dances at $50 where I got much more than a lousy dance, the situation felt like back when I was a kid at the video arcade and the screen says, "Game Over, Insert Payment to Continue? in 10, 9, 8..." except with a much bigger dopamine kick, because the chemistry I had for her was amazing. Anyway, that shit added up real quick and I only got to actually fuck her once. So considering I was paying full price for what she gave to other guys for free, yeah I got ripped off pretty fucking bad, man. This event happened some years ago, 1997.
No, marriage is a fools errand in modern feminist America. As long as feminism is the law of the land and we are subject to Big Sister/Matriarchy multiculti shit hole Civilization of the Mother, all women are bad by default. I'm MGTOW for the most part, but not by choice. When people ask me why I'm still single, I just say I haven't found the right girl yet.

Ras al Ghul said...

"Women do not come with User Manuals - and if they did, they sure as hell wouldn't be written by the poseurs of the manosphere! HAR HAR HAR!"

That tired old trope of the "feminine mystique" women are "unknowable."

A complete lie. And a huge disservice to men.

As Vilar wrote "Her stupidity makes her divine"

While it is wise to warn men about the Sirens, it is a disservice to tell them they can't apply their rational mind to understand women, because they can.

Anonymous said...

Ras Al Ghul: "it is a disservice to tell [men] them they can't apply their rational minds to understand women, because they can."

Yes, men can apply rationality to any subject, what is demonstrated in this 'neck of the woods' is a willfull disinclination to do so.