"I’ve seen technically 'hot' women who, because of the hostility and dissatisfaction that emanates from them, have very little, if any, sex appeal." - Bright Darkness
I've written about this before. My last year-and-a-half in college I lived in a studio apartment attached to a house with 12 girls in it. It was an eye-opener dealing with the women.
Two of the girls were friendly and appeared to like men. They were also popular with men (one told me she had been asked out by seven guys one weekend). Some of the others were attractive but not popular because they sat there like bumps-on-a-log and expected Prince Charming to show up. They were at times hostile to men - and me.
One was seriously hostile and not popular at all.
When I got out of college and got a job, I found my experience in college was confirmed: hostile women were never popular with men. They weren't "shit-testing" them. Instead their hostility drove men away.
I'll mention an example I've written about before.
The only dog I keep are rescue pugs. I generally kept them in my car when I go places. I kept them shaved to within a millimeter of their fur to keep them cool in the summer, and when I took them in my car I always kept the AC on, kept a gallon of water with ice in it, and always parked in the shade with the windows down. And I was never gone more than seven minutes.
One time I walked back to my car and found a woman standing about 15 feet away from my car. She was about 40, scrawny, with wraparound sunglasses. She appeared to be glaring at me. Not only that, the door to my car was ajar.
As I started to get into my car, she asked me if it was my car, and when I answered yes, she said. "I called the police because you left your dog in the car."
She had opened the door to my car.
Things got out of hand and I ended up calling her a stupid fucking ugly cunt. She took a step back, her eyebrows shot up, and she yelled, "You're no gentleman. You're not married!"
Bingo! She had men problems. Never married, or divorced. And several times I've had women just look at me and get hostile. None of them were attractive. I've never had an attractive woman be hostile to me.
Now you can say, "Oh, that's not a shit test." Doesn't matter that's it's not. She was just a psycho-bitch, as all unpleasant women are. My point still stands: I have never seen a woman be unpleasant to men who didn't have men problems.
The ideas they "shit test" men to determine their genetic fitness is a bizarre misapplication of evo-psych, which isn't a science. It's because they were hostile because their relationships with men have never worked out.
That's makes a lot more sense than fantasies about "Oh, she's shit-testing me to determine if I'm genetically superior."
What sort of amateur came up with that?
If a woman is interested in a man, she is going to encourage him.
I've mentioned before I've known some women with serious Girl Game. They just mowed guys down, including me.
Every one of them was friendly, funny and charming. They knocked guys down like bowling balls. Not one ever "shit tested" a guy.
I suspect this "shit testing" guys was created by unpopular guys as an excuse for why they were unpopular. "Well, it's not because I'm unattractive or a dipshit. In reality I'm really popular because they're shit testing me - which means i'm really an Alpha!"
I also had a woman file a sexual harassment complaint against me because because I wouldn't get involved with her. The same thing happened to a friend/boss of mine a few years later. Let's see...shit tests? No, instead "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned."
The closest I've seen to what most guys would call "a shit test" (and it isn't) is that female love of drama and let's-fight-and-make-up. I put a stop to that right at the beginning by telling them I would never do that and instead would walk out the door and come back - maybe after a few days. After that they never tried it (upfront right at the beginning is the best way to go - something that younger guys are clueless about).
Let's put it this way: what kind of a relationship do you think you are going to have with a women if you have to chop though her hostile bullshit all the time? You want to spend your life arguing to the extent the police show up? That happens a lot. Ask any cop. Let's see how all these clueless "Alphas" act when a woman they're involved with will not stop arguing. Or when she hits you, sometimes with a weapon (I saw a woman pull a knife on her husband during some ridiculous argument).
I have never been shit tested in my life. I've asked dozens of guys if they've been shit tested (and explained the concept to them). Every one of them said no.
The only ones who think it exists are the ones who read the Manosphere - and they read it because they don't understand themselves or women.
Reality trumps theory every time. Most especially bad theory.
13 comments:
"Let's put it this way: what kind of a relationship do you think you are going to have with a women if you have to chop though her hostile bullshit all the time?"
Man, you ain't kiddin'. I've been reading this here whatnot on the 'manosphere' for about 2 years. Quite a few of the concepts made sense at first but broke down in a hurry once put under the microscope. This is one of them. The MGTOW crowd, I think, over states their own idea.
I agree with them on one point, which is the one you just made. Why would someone waste their time bouncing around someone's 'shit tests' when, in reality, that bouncing around is part of the 'shit test' to begin with. I'd walk away from women forever, too, if I believed that's all I could hope for.
I've known some women like yourself who played the Game. Unless pushed, I've never had one of those kinds of women 'shit' test. They simply, as you noted, move their house of cards as they see fit. It is rarely rude, it simply is.
There are simply too many unnecessary rules within this current internet idea of 'Game' and the like. I dislike feminism (in part, but there are many other parts) because it, as well, has constantly changing goalposts. I certainly don't want to adopt a philosophy that is more of the same with a different moniker.
You are not describing fitness testing. You are describing any of several pathologies that are common to American women at this time.
Should I believe you, or my own lying eyes? Because I've seen fitness testing / shit testing in my own long term relationships. And I've learned after far too long a time to use Game techniques to deal with the testing. As I've come to dominate a relationship, the fitness testing has declined.
You're just not even using the term correctly.
I'm not sure I agree with you completely about women not "shit testing". When my wife and I were going out she never tried any of that stuff on me. Once, long after we had been married, she was yelling at me for something, and came out with, "Do you think I'm stupid!?".
In a come voice I answered her with, "Would you like me to answer truthfully?" She just broke up laughing and smiling and so not sure if that was the classic "shit test" everyone talks about, but if as a man you "lovingly" don't let your wife walk all over you, then you should have a pretty good relationship.
"Should I believe you, or my own lying eyes?"
You should believe me, because shit testing doesn't exist.
"Do you think I'm stupid!?"
A male boss said that to me one time. Shit test? No, he was insecure.
When I was in College in 1983 1983 1983 and when I went to work in 1987 I learned everything I need to know.
You may be completely correct in your assessment of the dynamic, but you fall short in your description of what the "shit-test" definition is.
No one says "oh she's shit testing me, so I'm an alpha."
This is a misinterpretation whether intentional or not.
Second, you are confusing actual shit testing with open hostility. You need to learn to recognize the difference.
Women are hostile because they're being a bitch.
Women shit test men they are actually interested in.
Shit testing is the counterpart to the neg. You don't have to agree, of course, but neither do you have to agree that the earth is round.
You have successfully explained hostility. But not shit test.
You should use some ACTUAL examples of shit testing if you wish to deliver a credible critique of the concept.
Women don't shit test men they're interested in. They encourage them.
I've never seen an exception to that. Neither has any man I know.
Those who believe shit tests exist are unpopular with women.
Shit testing DOES so exist. As an experienced observer of women I know it does. So do most men - but very few of them understand exactly what it is.
That chick you ran into was not shit testing you, Bob, she was a psycho on a power trip.
The shit test is not about fitness or genetics. It is about dominance and testing boundries. Women will push their men to see what they will and won't take - just like dogs or children will. There is nothing mysterious or evil about shit tests; and you handle them the same way as you handle them with dogs. Expect it. You punish the behaviour, and if that doesn't work, you get rid of it. Most older women are very subtle with the shit test and often men are unaware they are even doing it.
Unfortunately, the feminist movement has corrupted this mating ritual so that women themselves no longer understand the purpose of their own instinctive behaviour. In their push for independence feminists often engage in behaviour that is downright abusive - and it manifests itself in the shit test. Quite often they end up failing their own test and alienate the very men they want to consider a relationship with.
Bob writes these incidents off as simple random bad female behaviour. It is easy to miss the pattern in his case, he is an old world man that runs with old world women. The younger ladies today are not like their mothers. They are the 3rd generation of hippy-dippy feminists and they live in their own reality. The patterns of feral female behaviour are becoming more pronounced and the only reason I see them is because I am about 5~10 years younger than Unca Bob.
You younger fellas are right to trust your guts. Us old farts played by different rules, and the women we have experience with are nothing like the modern shrews and feral women you have to deal with. Whether you want to think of it as a shit test or simple bad behaviour - you are under no obligation to put up with it and if you do - you will probably regret it at some point.
Respect yourself and make damned sure she does too - or end the relationship and find a better woman.
Many women are children and in that sense will push boundaries. That I have seem. Same thing with some men, who'll try to push because they're bullies on top but underneath they're cowards. Stand up to them and they'll back down. Anyone who stays with such is a woman is a fool, and anyone who thinks it's some sort of bizarre "fitness" ritual is more of one.'
I avoid such men and women. Who needs these things in your life?
There is no such thing as a woman who does not test her man in subtle ways from time to time.
It is in their nature.
You're overthinking this. A lot.
Shit tests are not malevolent, nor are they necessarily annoying. I have a girl right now who is practically begging to be in a relationship with me, and she shit tests me at fairly regular intervals. I just smile and pass the test.
I'm not even an alpha male, I'm just a beta male who hides the worst of my beta tendencies most of the time.
Men who think that bitchiness and power plays are "shit tests" are the ones who are really unsuccessful with women.
You may not have experienced very many real shit tests, because what you're describing is the "get away from me" hostility directed to lower beta males.
Passing shit tests is easy and fun. Suggesting that a man wants to be free of that is like saying he does not want his woman to be flirtatious and coy at time.
You're right, we just want a woman to walk into the bedroom, drop her baggy overalls and say, okay, you can take me now.
If you think shit tests are a pain in the ass, then you simply have not yet learned how to pass them. It's fun. And it gets the girls lubed up when they experience the dominance.
Besides, it's easier to use verbal foreplay that the dreary task of fingering them into readiness. Save your wrists, man!
The only reason you believe nonsense such as Alpha/Beta/shit tests is because you read it in the Manosphere.
You are not even an "Beta" (which don't exist). You are a naive fool who cannot see reality right in front of your eyes.
Shit tests are a myth. It's PUA and "seduction" community dogma. I learned this very quickly after I dramatically improved my physical appearance. Before that, I was heavily involved in the PUA community for 15+ years. What did I have to show for all that time and effort? Not much. I get laid more in 1 month as a physically attractive men than I did after 15 years as an out of shape and poorly dressed "pickup artist".
I learned very quickly that women who are interested in you make things easy for you. It's a completely different world than what the PUA community told me it would be. They're NOT testy or difficult with men they're interested in, nor do they try to play dominance games with them. That behavior is reserved strictly for men they're NOT genuinely attracted to, but might be willing to SETTLE for under the right circumstances. The PUA and MGTOW crowd doesn't understand this.
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