About 40 years ago, a few women were allowed to become so out of control with their mental illness and megalomania, that they declared men and maleness in general to be "broken" and called upon women in general to "fix" them. Of course, we all know that there is nothing women like more than fixing men, so millions of women enthusiastically signed on.
The problem was that these women didn't know jack shit about what maleness was about or what men or men's world was really like - they simply declared men to be defective females and set about changing males into females, and coincidentally changing females into males.
Just like any marxists, no matter how many times their grand experiments failed, they blamed the victims of those experiments instead of their own stupid ideas.
"What happened to men" is women pushed other men and maleness out of the lives of males, but did not get the results they were expecting.
As women took on more and more masculine traits, it really should not surprise anyone that their subconscious still forced them to seek out men who were more masculine than they were, so in order to pick up chicks males adapted by assuming a totally stereotyped "hyper-masculine" persona.
And, it worked. The more a male lived up to the stereotype of the worthless hyper-masculine male, the more short-term success he had with women. The more a man fought it and tried to live up to a more classic male model of rational honor, the more he got ignored, insulted, and screwed over by women.
A huge percentage of the men you deal with were raised by single moms who are clueless about maleness - they only know what they want. So, instead of seeing their sons as real human beings, they attempted to raise them to be projections of mom's fantasies. Up until puberty, these boys attempted to make mom happy by being exactly what she wanted him to be, the less like his worthless father, the better.
However, when puberty hits, and the reality that nature will always win out and nurture don't mean shit starts to become apparent, these square pegs which have been forced into round holes begin to revolt.
The men you are encountering today are ones raised essentially entirely by women. Either mom dumped dad because he wasn't paying her enough attention, and not making her feel speshul enough, or dad was simply away breaking his back 60-70 or more hours per week trying to keep up with cupcake's cancerous spending habits. So, after being away all day, he came home to a kid who had been told all day to "wait until your father gets home" so dad could be cast into the role of the heavy - all the kid ever saw of his father was his temperament.
So, the short answer to your question about "what happened to men" is that women tried to raise boys into men without a man's input, and TOTALLY fucked up the job.