Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Women Have Lost Their Way on Attracting Men

In college I met the first woman who had what I would now call "girl game." She seemed to be a natural, and she was very, very popular. She just mowed down guys, including me (later she admitted she was only attracted to tall, slender guys - me: 6', 160 - and muscles meant nothing to her).

She actually spoke to guys first and then flirted with them. Then they asked her out, and she accepted.

It was just that simple.

In reality, contrary to the mostly bad advice in the Manophere, women are the first ones to show signs of interest, and then men react to them.

Again, it's just that simple.

How people turned out like this I do not know, but there are many books on it, ranging from religion to evolution. I reserve judgement on any of it.

I still get women showing signs of interest, which mystifies me, because I could be their father (unless they have some sort of father-thing going on, and some women do).

For example, recently I was standing in line at a grocery store and I saw the checkout girl look at me (who was in her early 30s, I found out later). Then she looked at me again.

The word "recognize" means "to look twice."

I knew in all certainty she was going to say something to me, and she did. (I get this about once a month.)

It was nothing to do with lifting weights or dressing expensively, or any of that - such as women liking "insanely confident men" (which is going to get you no dates at all and in fact drive women away, except for the loons).

If a woman is attracted to you, she's attracted to you. There's isn't much rhyme or reason to it. I have found, in my case, that women are attracted to me because they think I'm funny. But others hate me for me the same reason - but they don't think I'm funny (which is why I tell people women either love or hate me).

It does help to some degree (but ultimately not much) if you are muscular and dress expensively and the rest of that. You'll get a certain kind of girl but it may not be the one you want.

But none of that is the point of the article.

The point is that many, if not most women no longer know to attract a man.

More than once I've had women do the "hair flip" (brushing back their hair with one hand) and stick their breasts out at me. Those are flirting signs. Supposedly they're inborn, but these days most women suppress them, even with guys they're attracted to. Which means it's to everyone's detriment.

Since most woman know longer how how to attract a man, they end up getting a bunch of obnoxious jerks (the Manosphere's delusion of "confidence") hitting on them, and even though those woman are surrounded by an ocean of decent men, they think there are no "good guys" left.

The problem, again, they have no idea how to attract men.

When I was in high school I had more than one woman tell me later they had a crush on me. I didn't have a clue. They showed no sign of it whatsoever.

The same thing in college. I had one tell me that she had a crush on me and "it was obvious." Huh? How was it obvious? I never had a clue, because she never showed any indications.

Did she think I could read her mind?

When I was in college I lived in a studio apartment (for a year and a half) attached to a house with 11 girls in it.

Was it an eye-opener.

Most of the girls sat there like bumps on a log and apparently expected guys to approach them and ask them out - without showing any signs of interest whatsoever.

Two of the popular girls were friendly, and both seemed to genuinely like me. The others - meh. Sit there, show no signs of interest, occasionally get asked out (one time in a year and a half) - and never get asked out by him again. Or if he did they turned him down.

Mostly, I got the impression, because they thought he wasn't good enough for them for a long relationship.

So women today don't show signs of interest because 1) they don't know how and 2) when they get asked out, for some reason, they're not attracted to him because he's not good enough for them - even though there was nothing special about these mediocre girls.

I once had a women tell me that her mother told her, "Go out with nearly any man who asks you out, because one of them might be your future husband."

Wise advice.

Of course, he's not going to ask you out if you don't show some sign of interest in the first place. Unless he's an oblivious jerk - and I've met those.

I've been able to find some of the women I knew at the house on Facebook and through various other sites. The friendly ones are married and the unfriendly, entitled bumps-on-log are not. No husband and no kids.

Why does that not surprise me?

20 comments:

Anonymous said...


Many young women these days seem to have heightened expectations of what caliber of man they think they can get as a husband. Even mediocre or plain looking young women can get lots of attention on the internet, dating websites and Facebook, from various men. I think I understand why muslims want their women to wear burqa coverings, because the attention can really go to a young womans' head and they're also a big distraction to young men.

Young women also don't seem to understand that their prime appeal to men is when they are young, say 20 - 24. A woman at 35 is not going to appeal to the same men when she did at 20. Women are not men, and can't run their lives like men, despite the assertions by the idiot feminists.

Elusive Wapiti said...

"women are the first ones to show signs of interest, and then men react to them."

Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. Women usually initiate the sexual dance via displays of fitness, if not the IOIs that you discuss. NOT men.

Just like no one ever seems to see the first punch thrown in a fight, but the one in response, so it is with human mating.

Anonymous said...

"women are the first ones to show signs of interest, and then men react to them."

There are morons in the manosphere that believe that "shit tests" (bad and insulting behavior that women give men) are somehow a sign of interest. They believe it's a kind of challenge or "fitness test." WTF? Whatever.

Every girlfriend I have had initiated first contact with me, and they definitely did not "shit test" me. If a woman is interested in a man, and assuming she is normal and emotionally/psychologically healthy, she will let him know, and definitely not drive him away with a shit test.

PUA mastermind Rollo Tomassi is on it:

http://therationalmale.com/2015/01/13/acing-the-test/

ray said...

Similar to my experiences. Except females generally weren't interested until about age 30. Looking back, makes sense as I hadn't accomplished much. After that, they gradually heated up.

Game sells the short-cut. But the world already has too much promiscuity and too few father-led families. And too many cults built on P.R. and egos. Cheap, widespread sex facilitates feminism. It's not a solution. Promiscuous cultures (like the U.S.) are matriarchal.

As with cab-cheats, some people want a free ride to attracting others. But there isn't one. Each guy has to grow into himself, develop character, go through hard stuff, let God shape him. You know this because you experienced it.

Being attractive to females makes some other men resentful and jealous. They'll puff about protecting damsels, The Family, church, Rape Culture, society and the Law, but in truth it's Gimme the prize w/o the pain.

If you're sixty and God didn't give you a face that females kiss, whose fault is that? God's? No. Women? Nupe. Mine? Probly not pal, maybe if your life hadn't been full of self-service and pig schemes and petty jealousy your face wouldn't look like it does?

When I was twenty and chicks didn't dig me I didn't demand that the government, or school administrators, or police, or the UN, or other people, step in and force them to. Now that the shoe is on the other foot folks want all the rules changed so that Team Woman and Cuckistania win again. Houston that's a prollem.

Seeking Christ simplified much. We aren't allowed sex outside of covenant marriage, meaning, lifelong union before God. And some aren't even allowed biblical marriage.

ray said...

Well if it ain't senor elusive.


"Women usually initiate the sexual dance"


Yeah usually initiate interest in general. It's not always strictly sex, sometimes it's validation or just playfulness, they tend to more amorphous relationally. Cheers.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Your typical stale, pale, suburban American white female thinks that she is more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get. She doesn't know how to be feminine, and when she tries to be it's a gross caricature of true women. At the same time she's had the "girl's rule!" mantra reverberating in her head since birth. The most basic statements of fact about differences between the genders will genuinely offend and outrage her.

In my experience, Italian American, black, Eastern European women (cultures with clear divisions between women and men) will smile and makes eye contact or actually come up and start a conversation with you if they like you. And it's the same with American girly girl types. With the average Ameican female, your eyes will be met with expressionless, dumb confusion whether she likes you or not. The American female does not understand that there is a division of labor between the genders and if she did she would not approve of it. She expects you to do everything.

I've said this before but everything we are doing in the west encourages the formation of genuinely horrible females, totally unfit to be mothers, wives or even women in any meaningful sense of the word.

Rusty Shackleford said...

If Trump gets elected, he needs to give out 30 million or so visas to 18-34 women from Slovakia, Slovenia, and the other countries where he looks when he needs a new wife. Maybe that's what he meant by building a wall around the country but putting a golden door in the middle of it. Now that would be some change that I could actually believe in.

ray said...

"In my experience, Italian American, black, Eastern European women (cultures with clear divisions between women and men) will smile and makes eye contact or actually come up and start a conversation with you if they like you"


Haven't been in Mexico for a couple decades, but even back then, being around Mexican females wasn't like being in another culture. It was like being on another planet. No vast shield of entitlement and empowerment. More open faces. Much more natural and attractive femininity.

Anonymous said...

I think you are wrong. Attracting a man is not rocket science, it is not even difficult.

Nice breasts, thight ass, thin figure and it's done.

The problem is why, how and when they use those tools. In a highly individualistic culture like the one of of our world today, everything boils down to self-gratification:
Women: find self-gratification by boosting their ego (commonly by feeling desired by men)
Men: find self-gratification by getting laid

That is the root of the problem. It is simple as that.

Anonymous said...

"I think you are wrong. Attracting a man is not rocket science, it is not even difficult."

Men are happy if they get at least 50% of what they want in a woman, even 20% is good enough for many men.

Whereas many women seem to have a 500 bullet-point checklist of what they want in a man.

Earl Thomas said...

"women are the first ones to show signs of interest, and then men react to them."

Which is the main point most guys need to know. Plus the idea that women suppress their natural desires because of 'whatever'. Good article, Bob.

I mentioned before most of the success of guy game is if the woman likes you. If she likes you your 'game' will work most of the time. If she doesn't...there's no 'game' out there which will magically make her like you.

Earl Thomas said...

In fact it would probably be surprising stats on women who lament they have no boyfriend/husband vs. how many times they have been asked out by a guy and rejected it.

Anonymous said...



Women do give indicators of interest to boys/men, but the problem is many guys, especially when young, are not astute enough to detect them. Women can be coy when trying to flirt with guys. Both women and women project onto each other, and this leads to misunderstandings in indicating interest or not.

Anonymous said...

Well now that I have realized that I was the best pua who has ever lived (30% approach to lay ratio), I can say with utmost authoritae! that Bob is correctomundo!
Every broad I approached had signalled interest in me/myself and I somehow. From the delicate eye glance to nodding her head down with a smile, to approaching me as I was making drinks in the Disco (yes I am that old damnit!)and asking if I wanted to fuck after my shift.

As the foremost master of game who has ever lived, I give this OP a 2 thumbs/one dick up!

Bob Wallace said...


'Men are happy if they get at least 50% of what they want in a woman, even 20% is good enough for many men.'

My experience is men are in heaven with 80% but women want 100%.

Bob Wallace said...


'There are morons in the manosphere that believe that "shit tests" (bad and insulting behavior that women give men) are somehow a sign of interest. They believe it's a kind of challenge or "fitness test." WTF? Whatever.'

Perhaps tests of some sort do exist (I often ask women to make me sandwiches - and some throw fits) but they're certainly not "shit tests." If anything, they're tests to see if you are an acceptable human being to them.

Bob Wallace said...

"In fact it would probably be surprising stats on women who lament they have no boyfriend/husband vs. how many times they have been asked out by a guy and rejected it."

I've seen that a lot.

Anonymous said...


"(I often ask women to make me sandwiches - and some throw fits)."

Here is my "shit-test" for women to check if they are acceptable wife material: She should be able to prepare a complete, real dinner from scratch for a man (and no microwave allowed). We're talking something serious, like steak, lobster, baked potato, vegetables, appetizers and a desert, like a pie or cake - not a mere sandwich. How many young women these days can do even that?

Bob Wallace said...

"How many young women these days can do even that?"

A few, but not many. I've always noticed, for years, that some women like to cook.

Anonymous said...


My mom, a stay-at-home-wife, always had a full dinner prepared for her family everyday without fail at 6 pm every evening (A team of wild horses couldn't keep her out of the kitchen). And I mean everything: pork roast, or roast beef or chicken/turkey with stuffing or lasagna, vegetables, mashed potatoes and gravy, with a side salad, and including desert (cake with ice cream, pudding, etc.) - prepared from scratch, none of this pre-made, frozen stuff that you see at Safeway that you just nuke to cook it (microwaving food actually destroys a lot of food nutrients by the way - freshly prepared food is almost always the best way to go). I remember her starting her dinner preparations early every morning, getting everything together that she needed and such - Now that's real, genuine commitment. I didn't think of how much work she did then when I was a kid, but since I grew up with that, I thought it was normal. Dinner was a big deal to her, like planning a NASA space shuttle launch or a moon landing. We all ate together as family at the dining room table too (None of us were fat by the way - I think food back then was better quality than today).

I really miss that. I'm a single man and I live alone, and I will probably never have the family life that my parents had then. I think she spoiled us, and she really loved doing it. Wives/moms then really looked after and cared for their families then (typical 70's and 80's suburban America). Women took pride in being good wives and mothers in those days and boasted about what they did for their husbands and children, and rightly so. Young women these days seem selfish, entitled and want to be catered to. My parents are still together and happily married, but I actually think their marriage is an anomaly.