When You Don't Get What You're Supposed to Get

I've been around long enough to see what happens when people don't get what they're supposed to get. These things have been noticed for thousands of years.

When women don't get husband, home and children their apparently instinctive desire to blame their problems on men is intensified and sometimes goes berserk. Then they turn into overweight spinsters on psychiatric drugs, or skinny spinsters on psychiatric drugs. They collect cats or big dogs to protect from their fantasies of rapists lurking everywhere. The hostility just radiates from them. It's almost as if they think men are doing these things to them on purpose.

Even into their 50s some of them are whining, "Where are all the good men?"

Men are a different story. When they're not allowed to have decent, high-paying jobs, and to be protector/providers, they become drug-using bums, live off of women and become players, or just withdraw from everything except their hobbies.

These things were predicted several decades ago by those who looked at black families and said, "This is what is going to happen to white families next!"

One of them was Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who in 1965 issued a report, "The Negro Family: The Case for National Action."

Fifty years later there was "The Moynihan Report Revisited":

"The statistics that so alarmed Moynihan have only grown worse, not only for blacks, but for whites and Hispanics as well. Today, the share of white children born outside marriage is about the same as the share was for black children in Moynihan’s day. Meanwhile, the percentage of black children born to unmarried mothers has tripled, remaining far higher than the percentage of white children born to unmarried mothers."

"In 1960, 20 percent of black children lived with their mothers but not their fathers; by 2010, 53 percent of all black children lived in such families. The share of white children living with their mothers but not their fathers climbed to 20 percent in 2010, up from 6 percent in 1960.

"There has been a marked retreat from marriage. In 1960, just over one-half of all black women were married and living with their husbands, compared with over two-thirds of white and Hispanic women. By 2010, only one-quarter of black women, two-fifths of Hispanic women, and one-half of white women lived with their spouses.

"That the decline of traditional families occurred across racial and ethnic groups indicates that factors driving the decline do not lie solely within the black community but in the larger social and economic context. Nevertheless, the consequences may be felt disproportionately among blacks as black children are far more likely to be born into and raised in father-absent families than are white children."

Few listened then and few are listening now.

Nothing exists independently. Whatever way women act, men will react to it and their behavior will change. Whatever way men act, women will react to it and their behavior will change. The characters of both will change, too.

I consider it a cybernetic system - a feedback loop.

These problems have become world-wide. In Japan there was what are known as Herbivore Men.

From Wikipedia:

"Herbivore men is a social phenomenon in Japan of men who shun marriage or gaining a girlfriend. They are characteristically described as frugal, and interested in personal grooming. Under this categorization scheme, men and women are either herbivore type or carnivore type. As of September 2010, 36% of Japanese men between the ages of 16 and 19 perceived themselves in this way. Additionally, two surveys of single men in their 20s and 30s found that 61% and 70%, respectively, considered themselves grass-eating men. This phenomenon is viewed by the Japanese government as a leading cause in the nation's declining birth rate, prompting the government to provide incentives for couples that have children, including payouts and free health care."

"'[Grass eaters] are not without romantic relationships, but [have] a non-assertive, indifferent attitude towards desire of flesh'. Later, philosopher Masahiro Morioka redefined [grass-eaters] as men who are 'the nice guys of a new generation who do not aggressively seek meat, but instead prefer to eat grass side by side with the opposite gender.' [Grass-eaters] are often given as the primary cause of single women's woes....the decline of the Japanese economy is often cited as a root cause as disillusionment in the economy has also caused Japanese men to turn their backs on typical 'masculine' and corporate roles."

Good luck with that free health and payouts, government of Japan.

I used to live in Albuquerque and got to see what the government had done to Indians, under the guise of helping them. It's not pretty.

It's always the same thing, over and over. The government screws up the relationships between men and women, then tries to fix it and makes it worse. Maybe sometime it might occur to them the way to fix the problem is to withdraw and leave people alone.