When people make up definitions, those definitions are not "the Truth" but expressions of their own hopes, wishes, fantasies and perversions. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, "hypergamy," "shit tests" - all fantasies created by someone clearly disturbed, and rejected by women his entire life. It is is the same kind of bizarre, arcane private language created by Scientologists and Objectivists - in fact every religious cult in the world.
Religious cults want to strip away people's independence and intelligence and make them into unthinking serfs - the Borg. Sheeple. This is why critics have to be attacked, ostracized, expelled - because they are heretics, blasphemers, witches, all of whom threaten the good of the Body. And, of course, the Final Arbiters of All Truth must not be attacked.
Let's take the definition of Sigma:
"The outsider who doesn't play the social game and manage to win at it anyhow. The sigma is hated by alphas because sigmas are the only men who don't accept or at least acknowledge, however grudgingly, their social dominance. (NB: Alphas absolutely hate to be laughed at and a sigma can often enrage an alpha by doing nothing more than smiling at him.) Everyone else is vaguely confused by them. In a social situation, the sigma is the man who stops in briefly to say hello to a few friends accompanied by a Tier 1 girl that no one has ever seen before. Sigmas like women, but tend to be contemptuous of them. They are usually considered to be strange. Gammas often like to think they are sigmas, failing to understand that sigmas are not social rejects, they are at the top of the social hierarchy despite their refusal to play by its rules."
How about negging? Supposedly it's to make a women more vulnerable to your advances by undermining her self-confidence by showing you're high-status....something like that.
For good and bad, people imitate each other. It's how we learn. Unfortunately, there are those in the Manosphere who read their definitions, memorize them and think they are the Ultimate Truth. People who do such things cannot think for themselves and lack critical and analytical ability.
Those who have memorized the definitions of Sigma and Negging, and who think they really exist, don't know what they talking about.
Let's take "negging," for example. That's what I do, and have since I was 12. I have natural talent at it. Why do I do it? I seem to be born that way. In middle school I used to tease my sister's friends all the time when they came over to visit my sister. It wasn't to show I was high status or to undermine their confidence or any of that nonsense.
I noticed one thing: half of her friends had crushes on me, and half hated me. The ones who I teased liked me because I was older and paying attention to them. The other half thought I was making fun of them and putting them down.
When I got into high school and most especially college I found the same thing: half hated me and half liked me. Three girls, all friends, admitted all three of them had crushes on me at the same time.
Nearly every girl who had a crush on me when I did this was younger than me. Very few were my age, and none were older. Every one of them admitted they were flattered by my attention. It wasn't about putting them down. It was about building them up.
"Gee, I've got this older, smart, funny, good-looking guy paying attention me with his wit and charm...I'm flattered."
In fact, I have been referred to more than once as a "doll" and "charming."
That's what negging really is. The rest is nonsense.
As for the Sigma, I fit that pretty close. It's related to the negging. And as for the definition, one huge thing is left out: when you fit it... women either love you or hate you. And when they hate you, they hate you. Their attitude is that they'd like to see you die.
Not once in any of these definitions I have read does it point out the negatives, the backfiring.
I have noticed for decades that when people memorize the exact definition of something, and think it's the absolute truth, that person is insecure and indeed lost. "Now I have found the truth! I was lost and now am found! I now have meaning and purpose and security in my life!"
Not once have I heard a self-proclaimed Sigma and Neggerer (is that even a word?) point out the negatives and backfiring. My conclusions? They're lying - losers trying to build themselves up with words because they lack action. All hat, no cattle. Talking the talk but not walking the walk. Empty inside, like a balloon. Narcissists.
"Thou shalt not make thy characters graven images of thyself." - Theodore Beale
7 comments:
You have a point but mainstream culture's liars say the same to try to deny the truth of game. Roissy's already covered this. He knows that the men who most need his kind of coaching are prone to the error you describe, imitating some alpha behavior (I think sigmas are a kind of alpha; unlike on TV, alphas aren't necessarily handsome or rich; it's about the attitude) without dialing it up or down to fit the woman or situation (in short, social skills). When you're doing it right, 'they either love you or hate you' is right on the money; either toughen up or settle for being alone.
Hmpffff.
I disagree Bob - but only by a little bit. I am probably a zeta-male because I don't look at a situation and say 'An alpha/beta/gamma/sigma male would handle it 'this' way...' I look at the situation and handle it the way I think it will benefit me for the long term. I will fight and/or argue...but there has to be a gain in it for me, or my back has to be hard up against a wall.
But I do know men that ARE certifiably 'betas'. My ex-boss is a case in point: before I demoted him he was absolutely at the mercy of any man or woman who decided to slap him around! I would defy you to look at him and describe him any other way. (I personally believe he had mental health issues too - but I say that as a chit house pscychologist and my diagnosis is made with some very large grains of salt).
I do know I am getting weary of the manosphere...I am seeing some truly despicable bloggers gaining traction in it and they need to be opposed.
I can't imagine looking at a situation and analyzing it as Alpha/Beta either. It's way too bizarre, even for me.
I haven't met anyone so bad that anyone could push them around, but yes, that certainly sounds like some sort of psychological disturbance.
This Alpha/Beta/Hypergamy/Shit test/Dark Triad stuff really has to go. There is no way I would raise a kid with those beliefs.
The alpha/beta stuff sounds like some pop psychology clap trap to me.
The game stuff has a benefit of getting men out of their unsuccessful comfort zone to try some surprising things. They'll work sometimes, fail most times, but their social life will be more interesting than it was before.
I wouldn't make too much of beginners being too dogmatic and copying everything. That's how you learn most skills, awkwardly at first. But it's better to overcorrect sometimes rather than always undercorrecting.
Not so sure you're right about negging. Have you teased women your age and older, or is it something you do in a friendly way to younger females? If I am right, you have no data on its effects on same-age and older women. Maybe there was more to it than just the thrill of your attention, and how would you know?
It doesn't work on older divorced women/spinsters. I guarantee you that. They're too full of hate to have a sense of humor.
Women have told me what they think of me - "I can't stand you, I can't stand being in your presence" (the spinster types) to "You're funny, you're witting, you're charming."
Those who think "negging" (dumb word, by the way) really works as advertised (falsely) are going to be in for a rude awakening when it blows up in their face.
I think you said that both old and young women like you, and both old and young women hate you. It's not just some spinsters that hate you.
And did you really even bother negging the spinsters? I am sure your focus was seldom on them in a pickup or dating context. So why bother negging? As for myself, I am polite there. Negging them would not occur to me.
Agree on the spinsters being full of hate. Now I see them online trying to break up other women's marriages, telling every woman with a disagreement with her husband to take his name off the bank accounts and run to the divorce lawyers, because they're full of hate, and because they need to break a man free so they can have another chance, I think. By the same token, I've always found cute women easier to deal with than overweight ones, as the latter have a lot of issues, the former just the "issues" endemic to being females.
I've had blowups with women too, though not in a pickup context, and I think it's unavoidable. Women are very jealous creatures. Mostly the haters direct their hate at other women, but they can be tricky for men to deal with too. If they see anyone, including a man, excelling in areas they consider "theirs", like school, or music perhaps, deep bitterness will be the result.
But we can't let that stop us. We have a right to our abilities too, to express and benefit from them in this competitive world. This is competition and perhaps winning, not negging. I am almost unfailingly gracious, and when that doesn't avoid bitterness, I figure it's not my fault and leave it at that.
Back to the point though, I can't imagine bothering to neg a spinster, so if you're like me, I don't know how you would have any data on what happens if you do.
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