Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why All Women Should Want to Have Sex with Me

"If we could castrate all scoundrels, and shut up all stupid geese in monasteries and give persons of noble character a whole harem and provide men, and indeed complete men, for all maidens of mind and understanding, a generation would soon arise what would produce a better age than that of Pericles." - Schopenhauer.

All women should be ecstatic to have sex with me. It’d be good, in fact great, for the world. (As a aside, in some cases, it’d be better for the women, and in others better for me…but that’s another story).

Well, actually not all women. The fat, ugly and stupid ones should be sterilized, along with short men. It’d be okay if fat, ugly and stupid women married short men, as long as both were sterilized. It’s not like I want people to be alone and unhappy. I just don’t want to them to have kids.

It would also be better if these people were forced to live in a state by themselves. It’s not like I want to look at them, either.

I figure people can be bred like dogs, within certain parameters. And since I’m smart, funny, tall and good-looking, it’d be best if my descendents took over the world. Which means, actually, all smart, funny, good-looking and fairly tall women should be mobbing me because they’d want to have sex with me, get pregnant, and have thousands of kids by me.

We’d have as close to Utopia as we’re going to get in this world.

Yet I'm not being mobbed. I can only conclude...

...People are retarded. Except for people like me, of course. I remember years ago reading an article that the reason the boxer Mike Tyson had bodyguards was not to keep men away from him, but women. Apparently hundreds were throwing themselves at him.

I thought, what is wrong with these women? Tyson is ugly, stupid, and about as mature as a four-year-old. Why were these women after him? Because he’s rich and famous? That trumps all the rest of the stuff about him? Blech!

Now these women are perfect examples of ones who should not be allowed to reproduce, even if you have to sterilize them. I doubt the IQs of 99.99% of them are more than 100.

The average IQ is 100. That means half the people in this country have IQs of less than 100. Oh my God! Neuter them!! Otherwise the world will end up like the story, “The Marching Morons” or the movie, Idiocracy.

But even a high IQ is not enough. There are all sorts of high-IQ people at Harvard, Yale and Princeton, yet almost all of them are lacking in character, which is why they go to work for the federal government. They’re worse than worthless. They’re dangerous.

Smartness is only good when good character is involved. And that’s me!

In a fair world I would have 200 wives – all of them smart, funny, witty, and knowledgeable. And good-looking. Then each would have two kids – 400 descendents! Why, in about 100 years, what with the forced sterilizations of the Yechs! my descendents will take over the world.

Just imagine – all of the problems that plague humanity, they’d all be mostly gone. All the retards would disappear and the world would be populated by the noble, that is, me and my descendents.

And people tell me there are no answers. Ha! How little they know!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you wrote this article in jest, but I'll take the bait. You think you should 200 hot and intelligent wives. Would you let these wives have other husbands? After all, there is only one of you to go around.

Anonymous said...

Your solution overlooks one problem: are there really more women with "above average" IQ or men? You could find yourself in that awkward situation that terrorist on Family Guy did: "nobody said his 76 virgins would be female".

Bob Wallace said...

Both of you just shut up. I think I'll go lie on the couch for a while. This is too much to thik about.