Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Envying the Fantasy PUA/Dark Triad/Alpha

"This deep insecurity and self-loathing causes him to set up a false idealized self." - Krauser on The Great Gatsby.

When I first encountered the concepts of Alpha/PUA/Dark Triad I pretty quickly (for me) noticed they had certain things in common: they were all narcissistic.

The accepted definition of an Alpha is an almost clinical definition of a narcissist; the Dark Triad is about narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism, and PUAs have to be narcissistic to be PUAs.

None of these things are good things. In fantasy, sure, but in real life they are catastrophic. In fact, a narcissist is someone who is grandiose because he covers up his devalued self. Bluster covering up feelings of humiliation.

Men in general are devalued today by society. Society attempts to degrade and humiliate them. The inevitable reaction is to become grandiose. The corollary to that is to put women down. The Greeks called it Hubris (originally meaning to humiliate someone in public) followed by Nemesis (revenge, which is an attempt to replace shame with pride).

The ultimate purpose of all of these concepts is to replace shame with pride, that is, self-esteem.

The interesting thing, in real life, is that these people have no guilt and do what they want with no concern for what others think. Notice, though, that while they have no guilt and run roughshod over everyone, they can be easily be shamed and humiliated, which is why they go insane with rage when people mock, ridicule, and insult them. This is why the psychiatrist James Gilligan, who spent 35 years studying violent prisoners, said, "The most dangerous man is the one who thinks he is a wimp."

The upside, in the TV/fantasy world, is that they strut through life immune to criticism and what others think. In reality they are as insecure as hell, which they cover up with bluster and grandiosity.

Shame comes first in life, followed by guilt. This has been noticed by mythology, and confirmed by science

In the myth of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve are ashamed when they realize they are naked, but not guilty. Christianity added guilt. On top of that, when Adam and Eve feel shame, they blame their problems on others; Adam blames Eve and Eve blames the serpent, a symbol of hate, envy,and revenge (he wants to bring them down because they are the most favored of God).

When people feel shame and humiliation they blame their problems on other people. Then they put them down out of envy and hate - revenge.

This is why I have pointed out several times feminism is based on hate and envy. On feelings of shame and humiliation, which they blame on men. It's an attempt to replace shame with pride.

The concepts of Alpha, Dark Triad, etc. are a response to men feeling shame and humiliation by doing the same thing to women that women have done to them. That's why I I point out it's Hubris followed by Nemesis, but in reality it's a feedback loop, a cycle, a cybernetic system. It goes round and round.

Some men envy/admire what they think are Dark Triad Alphas and so memorize the concepts and try to imitate them, with little and sometimes no ability to analyze the concepts, see what they really are, and where they will inevitably lead.

What goes around, comes around. And around and around and around.

I oppose the concepts of Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Dark Triad, etc. because I see where they are going to lead. And it is not someplace good.


Paul, Dammit! said...

This is some good stuff- I actually LIKE the alpha/beta designation system, but that's because I actually know what it is, not the bastardized versions that are in the PUA metaphilosophy. Applying behavioral biology as it concerns breeding behavior as a basis for social interaction smells like Social Darwinism to me. It has a very strong place, but that place does not involve justification for narcissistic behaviors.
It'd be over the head of a lot of folks, but a unifying philosophy to bridge the gap between actual alpha behavior and narcissistic behavior would be interesting. It would cover the ground of healthy actions and could help define the border between hyperaggresive social behavior and narcissism.

Anonymous said...

I think you have some misunderstandings of the terms.

PUAs are generally NOT a classic alpha, otherwise they would not have to apply such methods to getting women.

The classic alpha is the dominant men in society, on the small scale such as the big man on campus, or on a larger scale such as movie start or rock star.

Let's consider the typical rock star as an admittedly extreme example of the 'alpha' concept.

Many rock stars have substantial access to eager sex and attention from women.

Other women will clamor to get with an extremely wealthy man. Or a pro athlete.

An alpha is nothing more than those men who, by virtue of their looks, fame, money, etc. are sought after by women.

When PUAs talk about alpha behavior, they are talking about duplicating behaviors that natural alphas often possess. And like anything else, mimicry will often have some amount of success.

Why should this surprise anyone? I could go to a bar, and with a carefully crafted set of lies, probably convince a few people that I am a multi millionaire. If, by chance, I am playing this game in the vicinity of a gold-digger, why would anyone be surprised if I was able to bed her using this type of deception.

And that is what much (not all) of 'game' and PUA tactics are - mimicry and deception. Lucky for the PUAs, human beings (and women in particular) are quite susceptible to deception).

It's actually very simple, and should really be beyond argument. I used to play in a band, which I co-fronted. I got a LOT more girls doing that than I did just hanging around the bar drinking. I was the same guy, same personality, but being on stage gave me a certain social currency, which (with the right type of woman) was redeemable for, um, 'attention' of a certain sort.

It matters not how much value you actually have, it matters what value people perceive you to have.

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Anonymous said...

How many PUA's end up with STD's?: