Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Masters of Self-Deception

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” - The Brothers Karamazov

I have mentioned when I was 16 years old a pudgy plain middle-aged women gave me a dirty look and locked her car door, apparently thinking I was going to jump into her car and ravage her or maybe shove a doobie up her nose and addict her. I remember thinking she was a nut who was deluding herself.

Even she knew I wasn't going to jump into her car. She just wanted to feel self-righteous and superior and to find someone to look down upon. I'm sure in her mind I was the one with the problem - a teenage boy with hair down past his shoulders, which of course meant I was a drug-dealing rapist.

About ten years after that, in college, I decided I should read some of those classic novels that everyone knows about but no one reads. So I decided to try The Brothers Karamazov.

It was a lot better than I thought it would be. I remember that in the novel one of the church fathers gave the advice, "And above all don't lie to yourself."

Just like a bunch of thoughts flooded into my mind. A bunch of connections were made.

I then realized, as I have mentioned, that in order to successfully lie to others you first of all have to lie to yourself. But people who lie to themselves don't know they're lying to themselves. They think they're telling themselves the truth about things.

When people lie to themselves but don't know it the main reason is self-righteousness.They think it gives them the right to abuse people, although they don't see it as abuse or that they are in the wrong. The self-righteous never think they are wrong. They think the person they abuse deserves it. That attitude causes a lot of trouble in the world.

I have seen several men lie to themselves to justify their abuse. But I have found women are the masters of self-deception and rationalization. That's why it's so hard to them to admit when they're wrong and instead think they're right.

I've mentioned before that Carl Jung wrote that women's greatest flaw was thinking they were always right and would never be happy until they gave it up.

I can go on and on with story after story of women I've met who delude themselves, but I'm not. Everyone knows what I'm talking about anyway, including honest women.

I was never told about the dangers of self-deception. Certainly not in church, where it should be taught.

It's not even one of the Seven Deadly Sins, although it falls under Pride or "vainglory," which are the worst sins of all and the basis of all the rest.

Years ago I was listening to an interview of the man who wrote "Defending the Caveman." He said men consider women mysterious but women think men are always wrong. He said that once when he said this in his one-man play a woman stood up in audience and shrieked, "They ARE always wrong!" I figured she was drinking and when people drink often what they really think comes blurting out.

Such are the wages of self-deception - self-righteousness, rationalization and abuse of the innocent.

8 comments:

Days of Broken Arrows said...

If men are always wrong, how do they explain the Chesapeake Bay Bridge or Eiffel Tower? Or "Pet Sounds," for that matter? Happy coincidences? A series of errors mysteriously gone right?

Bob Wallace said...

It's women who think men are always wrong, which ignores the fact men invented/discovered/created everything in the world.

Take The Red Pill said...

I was reading the quote from The Brothers Karamazov when I started mentally substituting "women" and "minorities" for "men"; because both groups are 'protected' by today's PC/delusional society and government, this is the only way that they have been able to last this long living their lies as well as propagating them.
The hidden truths that can be found in the fables of antiquity as well as the classics written by 'Evil White Men' are astounding in their truth -- small wonder that the Leftist PC crowd wants to have them banned or destroyed.

Shaun F said...

The Church has been a big disappointment with regards to what wisdom is passed on in those buildings. Passing out mittens to homeless is generally what is to be expected - or how to be a better Christian (12 steps etc.) Having lived a life of self-deception, I know how true this article is, and it's good that you're putting it up out there for those who find it and can see what you're saying.

Earl Thomas said...

The Gospel reading at Mass last Sunday addressed what you are talking about.

Luke 18:9-14

'Jesus addressed this parable
to those who were convinced of their own righteousness
and despised everyone else.
“Two people went up to the temple area to pray;
one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.
The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself,
‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity --
greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector.
I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’
But the tax collector stood off at a distance
and would not even raise his eyes to heaven
but beat his breast and prayed,
‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’
I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former;
for whoever exalts himself will be humbled,
and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Twarog said...

"I then realized, as I have mentioned, that in order to successfully lie to others you first of all have to lie to yourself."

This is depicted wonderfully in The Music Man, when con artist Harold Hill admits "I always think there's a band, kid".

Black Poison Soul said...

Serendipitous, when I've just started re-exploring an old topic about women deceiving themselves.

Vainglory - I like that word. So descriptive of many people, not just women (thank "do you even Alpha|lift|whatever bra" types LOL).

Earl Thomas said...

' So descriptive of many people, not just women (thank "do you even Alpha|lift|whatever bra" types LOL).'

Fags. There's a reason why they use 'pride' as a slogan.