Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Not So Wild Wild Wild West

Robber: This is a stick-up! Give me your money!

Man: Do you realize there are now four people behind you pointing handguns at your head?

Robber: Here. You can have my .22.

Man: You're not from this state, are you?

Robber: I'm from Washington, DC.

Man: Figures. I guess you didn't know everyone is this state carries handguns. We have almost no crime anymore - almost no murders, or rapes, or robberies. We hardly have any prisons, because we don't have many prisoners. We even fired 90% of the police. The rest are what they're supposed to be - peace officers.

Robber: What are you going to do with me?

Man: You're lucky we didn't shoot you on the spot. Instead we'll take you over to the courthouse and have a trial. Take about half-an-hour. Then we'll hang you. After all, there are four witnesses that saw you try to rob me with a handgun.

Robber: Now wait a minute! You have to put me in prison! With cable TV, free dental and three square meals a day!

Man: Naw, those days are gone. We're going back to the old days. Why, back in Mark Twain's time -

Robber: Who?

Man: Public school graduate, right?

Robber: I dropped out.

Man: That figures, too. Anyway, back in Mark Twain's time he wrote a woman could travel from one side of the country to the other without being molested by even the roughest of men. You know why, knucklehead?

Robber: Uh uh.

Man: Because there was hardly any government in his time. The bigger and more interfering the government gets, the worse society becomes. You're an example of the kind of human being produced by government interference in society. Broken family, no father, raised on welfare, dropped out of the worthless public schools, belongs to a gang, sells drugs, armed robber...you know why people like Jesse James and Billy the Kid were so well-known in the past?

Robber: Uh uh.

Man: Because they were so rare everyone knew of them. These days, people like them exists by the hundreds in every large enough city. You're one of them. You know how we fixed the problem?

Robber: Uh uh.

Man: We've gotten rid of most of the government, and everything in society has gotten better. You can drop your wallet on the sidewalk here, with thousands of dollars in it, and it will be returned with all the money in it. Just like what happened when that eight-year-old boy found a wallet with almost $2000 in it, in that Laura Ingalls Wilder book, Farmer Boy.

Robber: Hey, I always liked farms! Everything sounds good to me! I'll all for it! You've convinced me! I'm a changed man! I promise I'll be good! Can I go now?

Man: Maybe we shouldn't hang you. I think we'll just give you a good beating instead and send you back to where you came from, as an advertisement to your kind to never come here. Unless, of course, you'd rather have a last cigarette before we slap the horse's rump?

Robber: This stinks! You're supposed to be victims!

Man: Not any more, buster...not any more.

14 comments:

Wyowanderer said...

...
If only, Bob.

Anonymous said...

You are seeing something like this in parts of Mexico.

Anonymous said...

So it's the amount of government rather than the quality of the people that makes the difference. Got it.

Anonymous said...

The amount of government IS A REFLECTION of the quality of the people, at least in a free society such as ours.

Herbie

Bob Wallace said...

^Bingo.

Anonymous said...

If you believe that government creates a people rather than the other way around.

Baloo said...

Love it! Reprinted with appropriate illustration here:
http://ex-army.blogspot.com/2013/10/bob-wallace-tells-western-story.html

The Anti-Gnostic said...

If you believe that government creates a people rather than the other way around.

Government takes money from K-selected people and gives it to r-selected people so they can breed more r-selected people. It rewards superficial, amoral individuals and punishes substantive, moral individuals. When it decides its own people are too independent and uppity, it imports millions of docile Third World peasants.

Government has a lot of social engineering tools at its disposal.

Anonymous said...

Why does this mysterious entity called 'government' do that, in your opinion? More importantly, where does this mysterious "government" spring from?

Anonymous said...

Better still,

I believe that the amount of government [necessary] IS A REFLECTION of the quality of the people.

What does that say about the USA? It surely can't be fairly described as "free".

Anonymous said...

You know, before you had countries based on paper documents rather than on blood you had a man's word and common sense. With constitutionalism you have lawyers hairsplitting the meaning of the word "is".

Monarchy worked. Democracy sucks.

Regardless of the amount of either!

Bob Wallace said...

"Monarchy worked. Democracy sucks."

Yes.

The Anti-Gnostic said...

Why does this mysterious entity called 'government' do that, in your opinion? More importantly, where does this mysterious "government" spring from?

Okay. Substitute "bureaucrats" or "psychopaths" wherever I say "government." You'd surely agree a perfectly honest, competent government can be infiltrated and hijacked, and the government's own assets and procedures used to cement the coup in place.

The US Government was originally started by high-g Anglos and Scots to run the State they had started for their new Nation. Since the US's founders were all Masons and Deists, they naively and myopically based their new nation on ideas instead of blood and soil. (Per Anon @ 12:55 am). That's where this government came from.

Bob Wallace said...


"The US Government was originally started by high-g Anglos and Scots"

The vast majority of judges in our new nation were of Scottish ancestry.

Now they are anything but. And we are paying for it and paying for it and paying for it.