Projection is the First Defense People Use

Blaming someone else for your problems - even when they are innocent - is the first defense people use. It's part and parcel of denial, which is refusing to see that the accused people are innocent. Denial is the result of self-deception, because you have to deceive yourself first before you deny something to someone else.

Look around and what do you see? Blacks, women, gays, whoever - their problems are always someone else's fault. To them.

While everyone's first desire is to blame their problems on others, it is a childish, indeed infantile, defense. Who has not seen a young child exclaim, "You made me do it!"

Let's take women, for example. Their problems are the fault of men, patriarchy, Dead Whites Males, "oppression" for hundreds if not thousands of years.

For years I've been hearing that men "don't want to commit." I find that more than a little odd since two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. Most of them happen in middle-age.

The only thing I can conclude from these statistics is that while women want to get married, many don't want to particularly stay married. Then of course when they want to get divorced, they have to blame it on the man. Then they have to deceive themselves it's not their fault. Then they deny it's their fault to other people.

In other words, women are generally the first to demand commitment and then generally the first to try to get out of it. They want all the advantages of being a man and a woman and none of the responsibilities of either.

The excuses and rationalizations some women use are legion and I don't have to recount them here. But what it ultimately comes down to is that they are bored with being married, although they use such words as "trapped."

But when they get divorced they'll still want the kids and to get money from their ex-husbands.

Society in the past reduced these problems to the minimum. First, it was hard to get a divorce. Second, no-fault divorce did not exist. Third, the children were almost always given to the father. Returning to these things would be a good thing and take care of a lot of problems.

Oh, I forgot - as far as I'm concerned women who have children out of wedlock should have their babies taken from them. In the past such women who got pregnant were sent away to have the child, which was then adopted by a married couple or else sent to an orphanage (and almost all orphanages weren't bad places - I've known people raised in them).

By the way, the word "bastard" means a fatherless boy and a cruel, heartless man. I'm not even going to bother to explain the relationship.

I have for a long time thought women expect too much from marriage. The cliche' is that women seek Mr. Perfect (who does not exist) while if men find a woman who is 80% of what they want they are in Heaven.

Cliches' wouldn't be around unless there was some truth to them. So the idea that women have too high of standards has been around for a long time, otherwise there would not exists such stories as the Brothers Grimm tale, "King Roughbeard," which is about a princess who rejects all her suitors because none of them are good enough for her.

The only cure for her is to be humbled, and that is exactly what happens.

Men should pay a lot more attention to whom they marry. For that matter, women should pay a lot more attention, too. Her parents might want to explain there are no Mr. Perfects (and that she's not perfect, either) and explain the wisdom of the "King Roughbeard" tale to her.

Parents might want to also explain that many women are more ruled by their feelings than men, which means that many of them are not exactly rational (I am reminded of that scene in As Good as it Gets when Jack Nicholson's character says he understands women by thinking of a man and "taking away reason and accountability").

In fact, it's an excellent idea to interview a prospective mate. This is not as aside, but quite relevant: it's been found that when a man and a women on politics and pornography they stand a better chance of staying together. Having similar religious beliefs wouldn't hurt, either.

As cruel as it sounds, I don't think being in love justifies getting married. I knew a man who thought he had found the woman for him until an older man asked him if he'd be glad to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of his life. He suddenly realized he wasn't in love that much.

And of course love can, and does, die. Sometimes slowly, sometimes rapidly. Otherwise, there wouldn't be as much divorce as there is. And, of course, you have a duty to your future unborn children to make sure your mate would be a good father or mother.

I'll tell you one big red flag: she won't take your last name. That's the first red flag she's been brainwashed by 40 plus years of leftist/lesbian propaganda.