tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497093028548856666.post4192858189946051950..comments2024-03-22T11:14:05.861-04:00Comments on UncleBob's Treehouse: "Men with families feel more trapped than ever" Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16046202647270439670noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497093028548856666.post-78424803225947437032014-01-11T06:12:13.481-05:002014-01-11T06:12:13.481-05:00it's only about 2 hours a day that we give up ...<i>it's only about 2 hours a day that we give up with our kids, who are really great. </i><br /><br />Don't want to be too judgmental on you here mate, but 2 hours on a weekday with kids who go to bed at an early hour (I am assuming) is a shitload. <br /><br />Of course there is no solution for people with kids who live in the overpriced bug cities. My wife doesn't work and we live in genteel poverty.Podsnapnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497093028548856666.post-35589087620586101182014-01-10T09:34:54.079-05:002014-01-10T09:34:54.079-05:00While I think she makes some decent points, I have...While I think she makes some decent points, I have to disagree with some of her assessments, like "what you earn at age 35 is the top of your scale" and "two-income couples with equal forcus on careers is impossible." I do agree with women breadwinners are not happy being the breadwinners long term, and about the general point that it's hard to "have it all" - financial success, family success and marriage success. But that doesn't mean you can't compromise your expectations a little. Maybe you don't rise to president of your company because you aren't willing to give it that 110% since you compromise your time on getting home to eat dinner with your family and see your kid's little league game. But that doesn't mean you can't be successful and still continue to rise in your profession well into your 40's. <br /><br />My wife and I both work in challenging white-collar fields, both make roughly the same. We rely on grandparents and childcare to allow us to do that, which is our compromise. We both find immense personal and financial reward in the work we do, but we make it a point to spend as much quality time with the kids as we can, and often are compromising ours at the office (sometimes working from home at night instead) for child time. In reality, during the school year, it's only about 2 hours a day that we give up with our kids, who are really great. <br /><br />Is it perfect? Do we "have it all?" No, but I sleep well at night and so do the wife and kids. Maybe we're the exception in that we do seem to have a good sexy marriage, happy kids and a comfortable life. We work hard at that, communicate very frequently on life expectations in the subject matter, and are constantly nipping and tucking weak areas. Maybe that's where we're different. We also don't live in a large city, so that makes a huge difference too IMO.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing this blog article. AverageMarriedDadhttp://averagemarrieddad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497093028548856666.post-50793095352578281472014-01-10T01:24:39.062-05:002014-01-10T01:24:39.062-05:00Lived in NYC all my life then went to Baltimore fo...Lived in NYC all my life then went to Baltimore for college. After that I want to go to a smaller town. At first I hated the smaller city and rationalized "there was nothing to do" (read: I wasn't caught up in the look at me me me lifestyle of cities). After I returned home to visit NYC after 5 years, it felt so unnatural. I'm going to medical school in a year and if I end up practicing in a small town I don't think I would mind. <br /><br />Only after leaving a large city for long periods of time do you really see the gravity of social competition, even in small things like which neighborhood you are from, do you wear the current in fashion (emo, hipster, scene), how much money do you make and by doing what kind of job... Not to say these pressures don't exist in small towns, but the thing is you can get away from them and instead of distorting yourself and bending over backwards for other people, you can truly live knowing your own self.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com